A Word to the Wise

I’m going to keep the details of this post clouded in fuzzy details. I don’t want to be too exact in my description because the Mom I’m calling out doesn’t know me and I would like to keep it that way. She is a friend of a friend. Even though she is a perfectly kind person, I don’t think she realized that she had stepped on my toes with her comments.

I had taken T.Puzzle for an outing yesterday morning. My hubby had taken Full Speed  somewhere else. We have learned that sometimes it is better to play them on a man-to-man defense. The zone defense can work when they are together, but a zone defense usually falls on my shoulders and my shoulders alone. That’s why the occasional man-to-man is a welcome break from the norm.

T.Puzzle and I were with a group of Moms, Dads, and kids at an undisclosed location. I will say that there was a bouncy house. I won’t say if it was shaped like a princess castle or a pirate ship. That would be too obvious.

There was a Mom there who proudly announced that her barely two year old slip-of-a-thing daughter had potty trained herself in a day a couple weeks ago. Apparently one magical morning she took her amazingly gifted and advanced self into the bathroom and went without so much as an M&M bribe. Wow, that really is something. We got it.

It didn’t stop there. The Mom continued to list the potty training achievements of one so young. It went on and on.

I understand this Mom didn’t know me from Adam, because if she did, she would have realized how highly offensive I found her comments to be. Full Speed did not potty train until he was about 4 months shy of four years old. The power struggle, accidents, tears and frustration leading up to his successful training were enough for me to pull my own hair (and his) out. Okay, I didn’t pull anyone’s hair but there were days I really, really wanted to.

As for T.Puzzle he is approaching the age of three and has shown a very fleeting and unmotivated interest in potty training. He mostly likes to sit on the pot for two seconds, announce he’s “all done!” after doing absolutely nothing, then hops down and flushes the toilet with flourish. His favorite part of potty training is the toilet flushing. That kid could flush all day long if I let him. He really does possess a lot of flourish.

I figure he’s farther along in the process than Full Speed was at this age so it’s something. I’m not about to push it because I would like to keep all my hair intact.

Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine potty training happening in one day at the tender age of two! I don’t want to hear about someone else’s kid that accomplished that. I can handle a quick, off-handed comment like so-and-so potty trained by two and then we all move on. It’s the bells and whistles of a lengthy, triumphant monologue that seems endless and grates on my nerves. A word to the wise, unless someone specifically asks you for the details of the amazing feats your wunderkind has accomplished that the average masses of children have not, please keep it to yourself. We average Moms with our average children don’t have time to listen you.

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