marital blissishness, mommyhood

Better Days

T.Puzzle and I had a lovely first day by ourselves. We went for a long bike ride (T.Puzzle has much more patience for that kind of thing than Full Speed ever did), met out Nan and Grandma for lunch (T.Puzzle cheered Nan considerably with his innate zest for life) and then he took a two hour nap. The nap was a pleasant surprise. T.Puzzle is right on the cusp of outgrowing his afternoon nap. As all Moms know, the letting go of naps is a sad time. I think I even wept a little when Full Speed gave his up when he was only a year and a half old (I really needed the break!). It was a good day indeed!

T.Puzzle and I made our way to pick up Full Speed from school. He was sitting off to the side of the playground equipment looking quite upset. His teacher said he had a good day until he karate-chopped his schoolmate. Yes, I know, this shouldn’t be surprising to anyone that he uses his Tae Kwon Do on the world. He had some issues with that this summer and had managed to control it over the past couple months until today.

Full Speed is in a rotten frame of mind. I have to threaten him about seven times that if he doesn’t readjust his attitude, he will be sent to his room when we return home. He holds it together while I immediately cook dinner upon entering our house thinking his crankiness is due in part to being hungry. Going to school daily is quite an undertaking for him.

We get through our dinner without incident. I had prepared a super-easy chicken-sausage/pasta dish with broccoli thrown in and the boys love it. I thought it was good too if I do say so myself.

Mad Dog comes home and it’s early for him. He arrives ten minutes before six (he will argue this point and say it was fifteen minutes before six or maybe even twenty; I’ll let it go this time), in our house that is remarkable. Here’s the thing about being married to the strong, silent type. You have to get your spouse’s bearings through mostly non-verbal communication. I couldn’t place my finger on it, but something was off with him. I’m guessing it was that within seconds of walking in the door the boys are at each other’s throats and Mad Dog is disciplining them left and right. Full Speed is nearing whining hysterics and T.Puzzle is weepy in need of much attention and comfort. Hey, all in a day’s work for me.

We get the boys seated with a snack so they can eat at the table with Mad Dog. I have this sometimes unrealistic dream that our family eats meals together seated at the kitchen table. I guess it makes me feel like I’m successful at this family thing.

T.Puzzle doesn’t like the cookies he is given so he launches into a level 5 tantrum. I told him his choice is to eat what’s given to him or leave the table. Hmm, on second thought, these cookies are delicious my Mommy! Full Speed tries to help but only sort of. He offers T.Puzzle one of his cookies which gets promptly tossed on the floor. Full Speed cocks his arm back and whacks T.Puzzle squarely on the head. Full Speed went to bed shortly after. Mad Dog and I realized his attitude could not be salvaged. When I helped Full Speed get his pjs on and brush his teeth I said, “let’s hope tomorrow is a better day.” He looked up at me and said, “I sure hope so.” Here’s hoping, keep your fingers crossed!

Back to Mad Dog. Since he is not outspoken and he tends to be in work mode a good hour or so after arriving home, we were having difficulty seeing eye to eye. I don’t think he realizes that I am not part of a corporate structure and I don’t take direct feedback very well. I need it coated in lots of sugar. You would think after so many years of being together he would know this about me. You would think I would learn that his blunt tone and manner are not a reflection about how he feels about me as a person. I guess the learning curve is steep sometimes. Bottom line, he didn’t care for the dinner I made and I cared too much that he didn’t.

Some days we click, some days we don’t. Let’s hope tomorrow is a better day for everyone.

4 thoughts on “Better Days”

  1. See, people ARE reading your blog! And I REFUSE to let Blair give up her afternoon nap. (She is 4.5.) I force it. And it works. If I didn’t, I might kill her. I moved Blunt Force Mama to blogger ( so people can actually subscribe to it…and I linked to your blog from my page! Can you link to mine?

    Glad this is all working for you. You’re good at it!

    1. Seriously Vicki, you are like a rock star to me! I am in awe that you like my blog. You are now an official part of my home page. I had almost 80 views of my post today. Amazing! And I thought it was a good day when I had 16. Thank you so much for including me as a link in your new blog. That blows my mind. I guess I must be doing something write/right!

      I am so new to this, I am attempting to send this reply again, I hope you have access to it!

  2. Karate Chopped his classmate…well shows he is confident and at least you can know that he won’t be picked on at school (bright side).

    I can only imagine what it is like to get everyone to sit at the table for dinner….(Kathy, (Eric’s mom) always has us sit at the table and I find it quite comforting and makes me feel like I am part of a very healthy and normal family).

    Kudos for having this goal and keeping the family together for meal time.

    I can’t say that I didn’t laugh when I read the part about Frick getting hit in the head with the cookie. I think I was the food thrower in the family at the table…when I got mad at my sister Voni. I can even remember throwing a full glass of apple juice at her one summer….ahhh the memories.

    When I look back I can NOT believe I behaved this way. Quite funny but I guess all in all it was me growing into my emotions.

    Hopefully with your reaction (discipline and showing your unhappiness with their behavior) they will grow. I know I did, when I realized I upset or disappointed my mom I was quick to shape up.

    As for seeing eye to eye with Mad Dog…I think you are very right with it being somewhat similar to the way actions are taken at work.

    I believe in candy coating my opinions to my spouse and expect him to do the same. If he didnt like dinner than that is very unfortunate…my mouth actually watered a bit as I read the meal description. I always loved when you made dinner for us when we had our girl time…and I appreciated that you made the special effort to cook for our times together 🙂 Thank you!

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