good grief, mommyhood

The Stormy Vomit

p8293081Mad Dog and I spontaneously (okay, Mad Dog’s the spontaneous one) decided to take our boys on an overnight trip. In theory it’s suppose to be fun-filled and breezy. In reality, there is fun to be had but with lots of effort and a whole lot of patience.

As we were heading to our destination, the boys began hitting each other and crying while seated in the backseat. I looked at Mad Dog and said, “This is a little different than the last time we went here (Mad Dog and I had gone about a year prior for a weekend getaway sans kids).”

“What do you mean? Is it because this time we have a convertible?” he replied in mock innocence. Yeah, if only it were as simple as a different car. The real difference was attempting to have fun while maintaining a favorable baseline of behavior for T.Puzzle and Full Speed.  Since they are getting a little older and slightly easier to manage, we were up for the challenge.

In the course of a day we went for a bike ride on tree-lined streets, took the boys to the beach (neither was a big fan and T.Puzzle continuously covered me in sand from head to toe which I did not find enjoyable) and let them frolic in the kiddie pool resort-side (their favorite part of the day). As evening approached we had managed to snag a respectable, college girl employed by the hotel that was also available for babysitting. The boys hit it off with her immediately and Mad Dog and I were able to have a late dinner in peace.

We returned to our room after dinner to find T.Puzzle and Full Speed sound asleep and looking extremely adorable. It’s amazing how much love can fill your heart when gazing upon slumbering children. We opened the door to the balcony and let the sounds of the ocean fill our room and proceeded to drift off to sleep.

At about one-thirty in the morning T.Puzzle woke up vomiting. This was not a little spit-up situation; this was full-on vomit warfare. Mad Dog and I were dazed and confused but you know how that Mommy instinct kicks in and you do what you have to do. I became very directive with Mad Dog telling him how to help (which he did beautifully) and proceeded to catch vomit, comfort my sad, little T.Puzzle and clean him up as best I could.

Naturally, he joined us in our bed and went immediately asleep (again, must be due to the magic of Mom and Dad’s bed). Naturally, I proceeded to freak out. My mind immediately jumped to the conclusion that T.Puzzle had the swine flu and I imagined several worst case scenarios. I think Moms tend to do this sometimes and that’s kind of expected especially when our kids our sick. However, since my Mom died, I go to scary places a lot more quickly and I linger there. My Mom had been complaining of a stomach ache, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died days later. Talk about shock and awe. I’m fearful something as awful as that could happen at any turn.

I was awake for what seemed like hours. I cried some; I freaked out some more and missed my Mom a whole lot. Mad Dog was patient and comforted me the best he could.

T.Puzzle woke up the next day outrageously happy, wanting food and telling knock-knock jokes (which he is really bad at by the way). The storm had passed; I was back to being grounded in the present moment. All was well, at least for today.


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