Choices

Life is all about choices. We are unable to control our lives; we can only make choices that respond to its challenges. I have been feeling a little fearful lately as the first of Full Speed’s surgeries approaches. Today, I am letting go of the fear and choosing to be excited and hopeful. I look forward to spending so much one on one time with him and being there every step of the way. Having already gone through some medical procedures with him concerning his vision, I have seen up close that he is a tower of strength trapped in a small four year old body. Even though these procedures have been difficult at times, I am always left with a feeling of awe having witnessed his remarkable self-possession and pride at how willingly he complies with the doctors and nurses (maybe I am doing something right). Today I’m choosing hope.

Yesterday, I chose to pick up my nephew, Lil’ Superman, along with Full Speed from school yesterday. As we left the daycare center, the woman behind the front desk commented, “Good luck to you tonight, looks like you may need it.” Granted, I had T.Puzzle, Full Speed and Lil’ Superman (he’s almost three) in tow and they were so excited to spend time together that their decibel level was capable of causing hearing loss. I got that and could see three high-energy boys might be a bit much to handle. I made a different choice. I knew I would have all three for only a couple hours and even if there were going to be smack-downs, time-outs and some tears, they were going to love to play together. To grow up with cousins around is a huge gift. I chose to be excited to share in their enthusiasm of simply being with one another.


When they were seated (not so quietly) at the kitchen table eating (only sort of) their dinner, T.Puzzle took a turn for the worse. He had improved throughout the day but all of a sudden his temperature spiked; he lost his appetite and became lethargic. I chose not to freak out about it at that moment. I looked at the facts; he had eaten plenty and drank lots of liquids leading up to this point, he was going to be fine (I had no crazy, swine-flu delusions). I gave him some Tylenol, placed him on the couch wrapped in a blanket and began to referee Lil’ Superman and Full Speed.

It was hectic and loud and there was a whole lot of laughter. Lil’ Superman kept making pretend phone calls on a toy phone with his feet; when I answered the calls, they were stinky of course. This cracked the boys up endlessly. Despite all the fun and merry racket, three young boys can be a little overwhelming. I stand firm in my decision to only have two. And that’s my choice!!