Ocean Drive

So, at five-thirty this a.m. I find myself awakened to a swollen throat. The right side of my neck is throbbing and my right ear is aching like a son of a gun. I realize with dread that this is the day I have to seek medical attention.

First, Full Speed is off to school and then secondly, I have to stop for my allergy shots (I’m so close to maintenance shots which means less future trips to the allergist that I cannot skip). From there I will head to the Minute Clinic at CVS pharmacy. Of course T.Puzzle must accompany me on both of these glorious outings (let the record reflect my sarcasm).

The allergy shots went fine if you think getting poked with a sharp needle three times is fine (which I do not). I think T.Puzzle may have overdosed on Cheerios and Goldfish (the crackers, not the actual fish in the office aquarium) while we waited. I didn’t mind because he was quietly content.

I called Mad Dog and asked him to get directions to the Minute Clinic from the allergy office and text them to me. He did and I sent him a quick text of ‘thanks’.

I think I am delirious. I didn’t trust the directions and felt I knew what I was doing. I went the wrong way for a long, long time. I pull over because I am sensing we are getting close to the ocean which isn’t good unless of course you want to go to the ocean (which I do not). I call Mad Dog and he tells me immediately where I made my mistake and how to correct it. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been sick all week or if I am fed up that I’ve been sick all week, but I didn’t handle this suggested course correction well. Okay, I flippin’ lose it. Don’t worry, Mad Dog has heard worse from me but it doesn’t make it right. We end our conversation and tears are streaming down my frustrated face.

I turn around and I finally stumble upon the Clinic. T.Puzzle and I enter and then wait to check-in at the kiosk. I kid you not; the man in front of us took FOREVER to sign in. I don’t know what he was doing but it took an enormous amount of willpower not to yank the touch-screen stylus from his hand and enter his information for him (as a side note, it took me less than two minutes to sign in and I was holding a squirming, thirty-five pound, two year old).

We wait our turn and I bring out the DVD player for T.Puzzle. That is something I rarely do. Believe me I have weathered enough outings, doctor’s appointments, ophthalmology visits without resorting to digital entertainment for my kids. Today is the exception because I feel like crap. The woman next to me makes some snotty comment about ‘kids today’ and how they need computerized stuff to be entertained and that they don’t know how to exist without it. I felt too crappy to argue but it really cheesed me off.

To add insult to injury when I finally see the nurse practitioner she says there isn’t a darn thing she can do to alleviate my misery. Basically, I had a nasty virus and my body is fighting it off the best it can, hence the enormous, painful swelling of my glands in my neck. The swelling is what is making my throat hurt and probably causing the earache, too.

I realize I should be thankful that it hasn’t manifested into a nasty bacterial infection in my sinuses, ears or throat (which is what normally happens). However, I was hoping for something, anything to make me feel better. Only time can heal all wounds and apparently viruses, too.