kids, loss of parent, mommyhood

Sunny Skies

As you readers are well aware, I have been facing my share of challenges with little T.Puzzle and his emotional outbursts. Thankfully, I went through similar challenges with his older brother (we all survived!), and if you can believe, T.Puzzle is actually less of a handful to manage. Of course, beginning a New Year feeling extremely sick (I was back at the doctor again today) and realizing this is a year that will have no new memories of my Mom, I haven’t been dealing very positively with T.Puzzle. If I felt super-heatlhy and was grief-free, I would be frustrated and sigh a few times, but I would know that it is only a phase. I would maybe exhibit more patience and emit a more positive vibe. That would possibly help more than any amount of discipline I impose on him.

To try to change the energy between us, I spent extra one-on-one time with him yesterday. Full Speed was gone for the day/night with his Grandpa on a camping trip so I seized the moment. I picked up little T.Puzzle from school early, took him on a long bike ride, stopped at a nature spot to look for frogs (there were none, it was too cold). Then, after I fed him dinner, we went and sat on the lanai and snuggled under a blanket. We sang songs, talked about all the things we could see and made each other laugh. At one point I leaned down and wordlessly kissed his forehead. He looked up and said, “I love you, too, Mommy.” It felt good.

I know I have to make more of an effort to meet T.Puzzle halfway. He is going through the same transitions of growth as his brother before him. For whatever reason this is very hard for him. It’s hard for all of us.

And it all comes down to this. There’s a reason your kids look so incredibly angelic and peaceful when they sleep. It helps you remember on your worst days, that beneath the storm; sunny skies are always within our reach.

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