Full Speed Ahead

It was Sunday morning. The next day Full Speed will start kindergarten. I stared at the wobbly whir of our bedroom ceiling fan while in my chest sat a complicated and pained heart. I turned to Mad Dog and said, “I’m really freaking out about Full Speed’s first day.”

He said, “Why? The kid has been in school for years. I don’t understand all the stress. It’s not like he’s never been in a classroom.”

I tried my best not to reach over and smack him on the head. All I said in response was, “Thanks, that was extremely comforting.” I laced it with as much sarcasm as I could muster. Trust me, I have loads.

A couple hours later I was stressing myself out over attempting to pre-pay on-line Full Speed’s first, official school cafeteria lunch. However, I needed his student ID# and I have yet to receive that. It was really stressing me. I know it’s not rational. I know it has more to do with my firstborn starting kindergarten and all the change that comes with that. I’m not great with change.

My shoulders inched up towards my ears and my brow twisted up in irritation.

Mad Dog, sensing my frustration, came over and said, “I get that it’s different for you. When Full Speed came into this world he was attached to you in a way I don’t get. I know it will be hard for you to separate from him tomorrow. Me? You know, I’d just throw him in the deep end (see post yin and yang) and be done with it.”

I was so grateful that Mad Dog acknowledged how different this process would be for the two of us. That brought my anxiety down by about 1 percent. The rest of the 99 percent I plan to deal with by consuming lots of chocolate.

As for Full Speed, he is ready to conquer kindergarten. This is one instance where having a child who is the complete opposite of me (thrives on change, extroverted, and monstrously assertive) is a huge blessing. It almost makes up for all his stubborn-filled, tantrum-ridden, openly defiant toddler through age four years.

Almost.

Go get ’em, Full Speed!