children, gratitude, kindergarten, mommyhood, parenting, self-discovery

The Kindergarten Blues

Yes, kindergarten is great.  In fact it is fantastic.

Full Speed is awarded a certificate for good behavior. Apparently when you adore kindergarten, you behave.

Then why do I feel so miserable?

Full Speed has said, and granted we are only on week two, that he ‘loves kindergarten’.

“Do you miss me when you are at school?” I ask him pointedly.

Nope,” is his concise and honest reply.

There is a tiny part of my fragile mommy-ego that is actually able to rejoice that ‘school is cool’ for Full Speed.  I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to send him if he was unhappy about it.

What gets me the most (like a dagger through my heart) is when I roll down the window and shout, “Have a great day, Full Speed,” and then he cheerfully replies, “you, too Mom!”  I can’t quite explain why I get so weepy about this.  It’s something about his smooth confidence and the way he commands the sidewalk as he marches to the door.  He looks so grown-up.  My heart becomes filled with pride, sadness and a longing for yesteryear.  From the outside all that is happening is kindergarten drop-off.  From my inside view, it is the beginning of Full Speed officially breaking free of me.

Once I put the tissues away (be kind and at least allow for another week), I will embrace this new phase and support Full Speed however I can.

Whether he misses me during the day or not.

Where did the time go, Full Speed???

2 thoughts on “The Kindergarten Blues”

  1. oh what a big boy! I am glad he is having such a great time as he goes off to school. He is showing so much confidence and that is fantastic. Mom you did such a great job look at him go. I can see how you must miss him so much as he leaves off to school. I remember when my mama would walk me to school and say bye. I was 5 and I remember her crying as I walked away and I hurried to leave so she would forget and stop crying. How funny is our logic when we are young?? He is sweet and you taught him all he knows!

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