I was at my book club last night discussing our latest novel when I brought up the subject of a bucket list. The themes of the story we read appropriately sparked asking the group ‘what’s on your bucket list?’ Most had an idea and most were travel related.
I had nothing. I have no list. I can only think as far as to what to feed my kids for their next meal.
My husband has dreams and goals. Some are football related, others have to do with career success and preparing for our family’s financial future.
Even my boys are goal-directed. T.Puzzle is looking forward to going to kindergarten when the time comes and Full-Speed has his sights set on learning to read and write (or his version of writing).
And, me? I got nothing.
I have nowhere to travel (the thought overwhelms me, who would watch my kids anyway? And to take them with? That’s not travel, that’s what we call ‘over-time’ in Mommy-speak), no career goals (unless you count keeping my children alive on a daily basis as a goal) and no idea what my future holds.
This is not a complaint. It is an observation. Motherhood inevitably blurs the line of your identity with your children. You are forced to put yourself on the back burner. I understand that and it has taken many years (some days are better than others mind you) to be at peace with it.
So essentially what I’m saying is, for the sake and value of my own self, that my number one item on my bucket list is to…
make a bucket list.