Yesterday was the boys’ first day of school. The hardest part about it was the logistics. Since everyone and several of each child’s close relatives were there to help celebrate the first morning drop off, it could only be likened to a human zoo. The parking lot overflowed with cars going off-road. Parents were shoulder to shoulder as we marched are children to their fates. Patience was in short supply.
I allowed myself to be swept away by the noise, the crowd and generalized anxiety I was feeling. This was how I coped with the changes upon us. My stoic exterior finally began to crack once Full Speed was successfully dropped off and I was taking T.Puzzle to his first day of pre-k. It was eerily quiet in the car. He was calm and his biggest concern was where I had put his backpack.
“I’m so excited to start school!” he exclaimed.
And that’s when it hit me. He is more than ready for this next phase of his life.
I am more than ready to not really be ready.
I know I should be thankful both boys handled the first day so well. In a way, it almost makes it harder for me. It shows me that they are two independent kids who are comfortable being out in the world and away from me.
Now all I have to do learn is how to be comfortable out in the world without them.
Somehow I think they got the better end of the bargain.