Agreeing to disagree on a variety of issues is a cornerstone of marriage. There are compromises on things big and small. As long as both involved feel they ‘win’ at least some of the time, life can run fairly smoothly. It’s when it comes to the bigger ticket items that you both have to be completely on the same page. For instance, the number of kids you plan to bring into the world, if any at all for that matter, must be as close as possible. This number can change and shift as unforeseen circumstance arrive. Initially, Mad Dog and I had talked about having a big family. As pregnancy turned out to be one of my least favorite states of being and as Full Speed and T.Puzzle evolved into their strong-willed, glorious selves, I was quickly convinced two kids was more than enough. Recently, Mad Dog has been pondering the possible expansion of our brood. I think I could be open to this notion down the road, say when I’m about 90 years old and don’t remember who or where I am. I’m sorry, but my boys have worn me out. I believe I am only beginning to safely tread the waters of motherhood and even so, I still feel regularly challenged beyond my normal capacity.
Fortunately for me, two recent events have diminished Mad Dog’s inkling for family expansion. First, we had lunch with friends that we hadn’t seen in a very long time and finally met their two, extremely adorable boys. We met at a restaurant and I was flooded with memories as their very active nearly three year-old motored about the perimeter of the table and their nine month old baby insisted he needed to be held during the entire meal (to be honest, if I was that cute, I would insist on it, too). As we talked with our friends, the little conversation we could manage over the normal hustle and bustle of raising small children, the more I appreciated my spirited boys who at least are able to independently eat a meal. Mad Dog appreciated this, too. This was a relief to me.
The second event was T.Puzzle’s recent surgery (he is doing fantastic by the way). In the first days post-surgery, I had given him pain meds throughout the day and night at regular intervals. I don’t do well with sleep deprivation (putting it mildly). This is why the newborn phase was and never will be, my shining moment in motherhood. Somehow, Mad Dog does not remember this. He claims to only remember the good. Seeing my cranky face at the end of this week managed to bring it all back into focus. Who knew being cranky could work so much in my favor?
I think I dodged a bullet. At least, I sure hope I did.