children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Change (Your Pants)

Full Speed as a happy-go-lucky baby
Full Speed as a happy-go-lucky baby

Full Speed is approaching double digits.  I love the age he is right now.  I love the person he is right now.  I don’t think he is going to change that much in the few weeks before he actually turns ten, so mostly I am excited to celebrate this milestone with him.  My concern has to do with not feeling comfortable discussing the subtle physical and emotional changes he is experiencing and to be honest, a general lack of knowledge about what to expect (where’s the book ‘What to Expect during Puberty’?  I need one of those).  I’m a social worker at heart so I’m confident that I can talk my way through the most difficult of challenges.  We will get through this.

However, I noticed recently that Full Speed seemed, well, let’s just say, fidgety in his pants.  There were a lot of hands-on adjustments on his part.  I assumed that these adjustments are a natural part of a being a growing boy.  I tried to be cool and say things like, ‘that’s fine to do, but privately is the way to go,’ or ‘there’s a time and a place for that and this is not it.’  I didn’t want to make a huge deal out of it for fear of scarring him permanently.  He seemed okay with what I said and I thought we were in the clear.  We were not.

As we walked to the gym he kept yanking, pulling and tugging at his pants.  Finally, I couldn’t take it.

“Full Speed, would you please STOP doing that!”

“But Mom, I’ve had these underpants since I was like five and they are so tiny.  They keep riding up my crack and are so uncomfortable!”

I did the only thing I could do.  I laughed and laughed and then, laughed some more.  I’m pretty sure that was the most healthy approach to this delicate situation.

Up to this point, my boys have always been similar in size and stature.  Even when I’ve had to buy them new clothes for length, they often don’t fill them out.  It never occurred to me that Full Speed had the audacity to put some meat on his bones therefore requiring larger underwear.

It was a watershed moment.  Sometimes all your worries will vanish if you just keep your kids in appropriate sized underwear.

Live and learn, friends.  Live and learn.

4 thoughts on “Change (Your Pants)”

    1. I was telling some friends about this last night and it still cracked me up even though it happened a few weeks ago. My poor, tiny pants, boy(;

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