Full Speed and I were out for a stroll. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and life was good. We had already sufficiently dissected the latest Cubs news and the topic of conversation switched over to Full Speed’s possible future family. When this topic arises I try very hard to be normal. If you know me at all, normal is a huge stretch. By normal I mean non-reactive. I don’t ever want him to feel he needs to get married and have kids. If it happens great, but if not, that’s fine by me, too. So, there I was being cool and calm. He then noted that I may be what might be considered a lenient (?) grandmother. I feigned shock. How could he surmise such an idea I asked? Well, it has something to do with how I treat my dog. Apparently I ‘baby’ him? This is shocking to me!! I merely treat him in a way that all pet owners should treat their animals. I simply set the bar high in this regard.
Full Speed then went on to share an imagined scenario of me interacting with his future child.
Future Awesome Grandchild: “Grandma, I accidentally murdered your next door neighbor.”
Future Awesome Me: “Oh, that’s okay little Sunshine. I know you didn’t mean it and I didn’t really like them any way (not true, I have some great neighbors for the record).”
Full Speed did this whole bit in a sing-songy way implying that I may be the Snow White of all Future Grandmothers.
All I can say is that if Grandmotherhood is in the cards for me, I’m gonna crush it.