I was having a moment. I had been cruising through the week and then, I wasn’t. Mad Dog has been gone for over a week and won’t get back for a few more days.
I have no reason to complain. My boys are older and they are about a thousand percent easier to manage compared to when they were small. We also do lots of fun stuff together like special dinners out and movie marathons. It isn’t perfect but it works.
However, we all miss Mad Dog and after a while, this feeling of missing him creeps over us and then it’s harder to be our best selves.
Yesterday, as I tried to order Full Speed’s track uniform (yay! He made the track team! So what if all he had to do was show up, basically, he made the team at ‘hello’, still….he made the commitment to be on a team…woo-hoo!), I lost it. Why? Part of it was that it was about my one-hundredth action item of the day, and the other part was that Full Speed is one of the hardest kids in the world to find clothes that fit properly. I can’t explain it but he always seems to fall in between regular sizing. I had stared at the computer screen completely flummoxed as to what size to purchase when I finally pulled the trigger. As I printed out the receipt I realized after all that agonizing, I had ordered the wrong size! Yes, in the grand scheme of life it is no big deal, but it felt really big right then and I started to cry.
Full Speed came over to me, put his arm around my shoulders and said:
“It’s okay, Mom. Everyone makes mistakes. I just appreciate you buying the uniform for me. I know you miss, Dad, too. Because you miss him that’s probably really why you are upset. I understand.”
I had to admit, the kid made some good points.
Then, it dawned on me…I got ‘mommed’.
He basically said every exact thing I would say to him if the tables were turned.
I’m grateful he had the empathy to comfort me. Nice that some of what I say to him sticks.
Today was better.
Here I will share a photographic art installation which symbolizes how well I am managing.
Thankfully, Little Guy waived all modeling fees.