These past two weeks have found me in a struggle to get my WFAM posts created and uploaded. I do not like to give myself excuses as to why I don’t have the time to write. I fear these excuses will allow me to push writing to the back-burner and I will yet again, sacrifice my needs for those of my loved ones.
However, when your very-senior-dog has eye surgery, it’s okay to write your post the day of if you even write it at all:
Since I’m not in the mood for a funny and lighthearted post after comforting Little Guy through the night, here are two somewhat serious thoughts that have been swimming in my head:
Nobody Has Motherhood Figured Out
I have spent time with kick-butt executive moms down to the always-at-home-always-on-call moms and every variation in between. We all feel less-than about some aspect of life and motherhood, and nobody has it all figured out. All we know is we love our kids, we are doing our best and it is better to focus on our little corner of the world and worry less about what anyone else is or is not doing.
Life Beyond Motherhood
In a People feature article, Michelle Obama was asked about her approaching ’empty nest’. The interviewer seemed surprised she was not ‘weepy’ about the prospect.
“I don’t need my children to be happy. I had them so they’d be happy.”
This quote has me more determined than ever to continue carving a path that is unique to me.
The first time I held Full Speed, I had an out-of-body moment. A sense of calm filled me and a quiet understanding of love filled my heart. This fleeting moment of peace buoyed me through those first weeks of motherhood.
As family and friends paraded through our home excited to meet our firstborn, one theme remained constant, his eery physical similarity to Mad Dog. In fact, my mother would sometimes feel uncomfortable holding him because she had an unsettling feeling that she was actually holding Mad Dog. While she loved Mad Dog dearly as a son-in-law, she preferred an occasional polite hug to extended snuggling. Frankly, I was so tired I probably wouldn’t have noticed either way.
With Full Speed’s paternity clearly locked down, as the years passed, I wondered if he would ever resemble me in any capacity. Other than showing a penchant for writing, he almost is 100% Mad Dog. The upside of this is, whenever Mad Dog travels, I have an outstanding stand-in to keep me company. Lately as a bonus, he is even throwing in the exact behavior patterns of Mad Dog’s that sometimes drive me a little crazy. For instance, he cannot find things that are in plain sight, runs into counters and cabinets oftentimes knocking himself soundly in the head and he insists I did not tell him something when I absolutely did(!).
Thanks to you Full Speed, I will never be (c)lonely.
I have only met a handful of neighbors on my street. When I walk my dogs, it is rare that I stop and chat with someone.
I admit, I’ve become complacent.
Over the weekend, dressed to the hilt in my pajamas, it was time to walk the dogs. I had on no make-up but did take the time to match my checkered pants to my hat and jacket. All Cubs-themed of course and super-chic. I knew I was pushing what is socially acceptable when T.Puzzle commented on my attire.
“Your pants are super baggy,” he said.
This should have given me pause because he never notices these things. But, it did not. I simply zipped up my coat and headed out of my house with confidence. I was certain my streak of not speaking to another person would remain alive.
I have never seen so many people in my life!
Of course, all of them wanted to talk to me or pet the dogs. And, I had to stand there like a normal person and own-up to my ridiculous outfit choice.
So, my advice to you is this; if you want to meet new people, proudly wear your pjs outdoors in the middle of the day.
Your neighbors will pour out their homes anxious to meet you and/or evaluate your mental status.
As November amps up and we head at a dangerous clip towards the holiday season, I am taking a moment to count my blessings. Sure, when I sat down in front of my mighty laptop and writer’s block settled over me, I had no idea where this post would take me. For inspiration I scrolled through some older WFAMs and thankfully, I found writing that stands the test of time. Of course, the writer has evolved but the themes like love, self-acceptance and humor are the threads that remain consistent.
My boys are growing older and older and I don’t know what that means for the future. I don’t know how this blog will unfold as they set about making their way in the world.
What I know for sure is I am so grateful to have them in my life. I am grateful I have been here to watch them grow into fine, young men and I am grateful to have a husband that supports all of my writing endeavors.
It is quite possible I have reached the pinnacle of good fortune. Maybe this is where I stop trying so hard to be ‘more’ and simply savor the blessings already here.