family, humor, motherhood, parenting

Summer Memories 2015

This summer was the first time my boys ever played organized basketball.  There was a part of me that really dreaded this.  On some level, I knew my boys were going to have some challenges mastering the sport.  I was absolutely right.  They both quickly learned that remembering all the rules, dribbling while in motion and taking a shot with someone twice their size right in their face were all rather impossible.  On a positive note, they both looked absolutely adorable in their uniforms.  So, basically, they always have their looks to fall back on.

im1.shutterfly

In all seriousness, I knew the season was going to be tough when the first team the boys played was adult-size and had been playing together for six years.  I actually thought it could have been longer than six years as I was pretty sure I had seen their center driving his own car to the game (not really, but I did want to check his birth certificate to verify his supposed under 10 age).  Needless to say, my boys are not so motivated to hoop it up anytime soon.  Long live soccer!!

Over the course of summer, in between basketball practices and games, I got to spend a tremendous amount of time with my guys.  For the most part, I found this time to be truly delightful.  I enjoyed their humor, their company and their energy for life.  It wasn’t all smooth.  There were some classic moments such as these:

  1.  Full Speed and the Situation I took the dogs for a walk and instructed the boys to get themselves ready for soccer camp.  Here is actual text communication sent from Full Speed, “Where are you? We have a situation with the Gatorade bottle.”  Two minutes later I received this text, “The problem is I can’t open the Gatorade.”  Thankfully, this ‘situation’ was quickly resolved but the text cracked me up for the rest of the day.
  2. T.Puzzle’s Hug Aversion  T. Puzzle hates it when I ask him to hug me.  He acts as if he is being sentenced to death and tries all sorts of creative ways to get out of it.  I told him to ask his brother how to handle it.  Full Speed said, “When Mom wants a hug, just man-up and do it.”  Still, to no avail.  I eventually had to take a hard line with him and he will give me hugs but there is still a lot of resistance.  So, it surprised me when he approached me for what seemed like a genuine unsolicited hug.  “Wow, T.Puzzle, that was so nice.”  He looked at me and said, “Dad told me to find you and said I had to hug you, so I did.”  Okay, thanks?
  3. Full Speed’s Independence  When your ten year-old has ‘situations’ with Gatorade bottles, sometimes when you ponder the future, you wonder if he will be able to live independently.  Full Speed was looking in the fridge and he couldn’t find something.  “Mom, where is it?  I can’t find it anywhere!”  I walked over, opened the door and promptly found it in two seconds.  I said in a rather exasperated tone, “I really am going to have to live with you when you are older, aren’t I?”  He replied, “No, Mom, because I’m going to be the one who puts everything away so I will know where stuff is.”  Touche’.
  4. T.Puzzle’s Future Living Arrangements  Since Full Speed has established in his mind that he will be living independently from his parents in the future, he has lots of ideas about how this will happen.  He talks about possible occupations, where he wants to live and hopes I will take care of his dogs when he has to travel.  When I ask T.Puzzle about the future he is often mute on the subject.  Even though he is hug aversive, deep down, he really is attached to me and I think he can’t fathom living anywhere else than where he is right now.  Full Speed’s solution is simple.  T.Puzzle can live with him.  Well, that’s all fine and good, but I’ve noticed Full Speed can be very particular in his ways.  T.Puzzle is a little more free-flowing with life.  “How are you going to live with your brother if he annoys you on a regular basis, Full Speed?”  He answer was simple, “My house, my rules.”


im1.shutterfly-2THE END

children, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Goal is LOVE (Happy New Year)

When I began this blog, I didn’t really have any big goals.  I was still grieving the profound loss of my mom, which does and doesn’t get easier, and coping with raising two rambunctious boys.  I started writesforallmommies on a whim and it became a great coping mechanism for me.  It allowed me to connect with others in a way that my very introverted personality sometimes doesn’t allow.

Through the years, I have had posts that click with a reader, friend or relative.  That is the best feeling in the world.  To know that something I wrote resonated and hopefully made them feel less alone.  Let’s be honest, raising children (or life in general) can be very isolating.  We feel judged as much as we judge.  We question ourselves as much as we question others.  We put on a brave front that we know what we are doing, when in fact, we know very little about how our actions will impact the future.  It is frightening and exhilarating and mystifying and lovely all at once.

I recently received an email from a mom thanking me for my support during her daughter’s recent diagnosis of ectopia lentis. This is the same, genetic eye disorder both of my boys have. It is so rare, that it is difficult to find adequate resources on-line or anywhere at all for that matter. This mom is one of three that has contacted me through writesforallmommies.com concerning this matter.

To be able to help these moms cope with the overwhelming feelings that came with this bizarre sounding disorder has been one of the greatest rewards of writing this blog.  I share this with you because if you are going through a particularly rough patch right now, know that it is preparing you to be of service to someone else.  My boys were undiagnosed for a long, long time and not knowing anyone who had gone through the same experience was gut-wrenching.  I know I didn’t completely prevent the feelings of despair for these women, but I eased the way and gave them hope.  My boys are living proof that vision does not define them.  They are awesome, adaptive and remarkable.  No matter what happens with their vision down the road, they will remain awesome, adaptive and remarkable.

You are all those and more, dear reader.

Happy New Year!

ry=400-2

 

I

gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Holiday Blessings

ry=480Another year is drawing to a close and I still marvel at all the ways motherhood continues to challenge me and make me grow.  I am grateful to both my boys for always loving me even though I don’t always get things right.  Their perpetual love of life inspires me.  Their perpetual energy?  I’m still trying to get a handle on that.

Full Speed has grown tremendously this year.  His humor is getting more sophisticated and I love that he can crack me up on a regular basis.  As a fourth grader, I’m fairly sure that Santa’s existence is tenuous at best for him, but he keeps holding onto the dream.  I suspect he is doing it as much for me as he is for himself.  That only makes me love him more.

ry=400

T.Puzzle has changed dramatically.  He still has threads of empathy woven permanently into his soul, but it surfaces less now.   All he wants to do is play football.  If he’s not playing it, he’s talking about it.  I miss the sweetness of him, but I admire the competitor he’s become.

Which brings me to the new level of interaction my boys have with Mad Dog.  They all live, eat and breathe football.  Even my precious walks to school with the boys are now consumed with serious discussions about stats and standings.

There isn’t much I can do about it.  It would be like my boys asking me not to be a writer.  I can’t ask them to be something they aren’t.  My job is to help them fully realize who they are.  Right now that happens to be fanatical football fans.  Sure it would be nice to have someone to watch romantic comedies with, take long walks in nature and sit with me in silence as we ponder life and existence.

I guess that’s why dogs were created.

Dogs Photoshoot-18

 

children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Teachable Moments

ry=400-7I love to watch movies with the boys.  However, it is often difficult to agree on one that we all are willing to watch.  Recently, Mad Dog persuaded me to allow the boys to watch a crazy tornado movie called Into the Storm.  My boys usually do well watching movies geared slightly above their age range.  We use a lot of humor to lighten the drama and it winds up being more comical than scary.

One of the reasons I love to watch movies with them is because they haven’t seen enough to understand obvious plot points.  When I accurately ‘predict’ what is going to happen next, they are amazed.

For instance, Into the Storm had a scene where I correctly predicted that both the characters would live, even though all evidence pointed to the contrary.  To see if Mad Dog was paying attention I said, “You know the hot girl lives.  They always do.”  He said an absentminded, “Yeah.”

Well, at this point, he was totally busted.  I teased him and said, “What?  So you admit she’s hot?”

He was backed into a corner.

As the movie progressed and this girl was in more and more peril, every time she survived, Mad Dog used it as a teaching tool.  “See boys?  See how the hot girl survives everything?  That’s why I married your Mom.  It’s the law of hotness.  I will never die in a storm as long as I’m married to your Mom.”

My prediction?  Mad Dog is safe for a long, long time.

children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Naked Truth

ry=480

T.Puzzle has a new friend in our subdivision.  He waited to greet us as the boys and I walked home from school.  His Mom introduced herself and we discussed having this friend over to our house to play.  It all was great.  I asked where in the subdivision they lived and I pointed out our home at the end of the cul-de-sac.

“I already knew that!” the friend piped in.  “I saw T.Puzzle and Full Speed there on Halloween night!  Full Speed was naked!”

I thought about that a moment and said, “He must have been in his pjs.  He just wears shorts to bed.”

“Yes, his chest was naked!”

His Mom said, “That’s what you wear to bed, too.  The shorts you have on now are usually the shorts you end up wearing to bed.”

As an act of joining in on our community conversation, T.Puzzle marches up to his friend’s Mom and announces,

“My Dad sleeps naked!”

Naturally embarrassed I stammered, “Sorry about the accurate yet totally inappropriate TMI.”

She did not miss a beat, “I’ll make sure we ring the doorbell before we come in.”

And that…, is how you make new friends in the neighborhood!