humor, kids, motherhood

There’s a Reason Drama Rhymes with Mama

I am kind of a mess right now.  If you ran into me on the street, I still appear normal on the outside, but inside me swims the anxiety and tension of moving my family to a new state.  This is all a normal part of the experience.

What isn’t normal is that my boys are not really freaking out.  I mean, aren’t they supposed to be freaking out?

Here’s a recent conversation I had with them:

“Are you nervous about going to a new school?” I said.

Both said, “No.”

“Are you worried you won’t make new friends?” I said.

Both said, “No.”

“Are you concerned that you won’t be academically prepared when school starts?”

Both said, “No.”

Can you spot the pattern here?

Maybe instead I should ask, “Are you worried your mom is going to ask you so many questions about whether or not you are worried that you may tune her out completely?”

(crickets chirping)

Thank you to the stars above for giving me two, level-headed sons that tolerate my dramatic inquiries and love me anyway.

Fewer questions equal less drama.

No guarantees.



children, humor, life in pictures, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self care (or lack thereof)

Losing It


Pumpkins, photographed in Canada.
Image via Wikipedia


Here are some signs that I am losing it ever so slightly while Mad Dog is away:

1. T.Puzzle wore his nighttime pull-up to school (thankfully, it was dry!) and I didn’t realize this mistake until 6:30 pm that evening.  He proudly announced he kept it ‘cwean and dry all day’.  Good for you, son.

2.  I enthusiastically told my boys that I bought light up pumpkins only to discover that these magical squashes needed batteries that were not in my possesion when I really believed I had some.  That kind of squashed our night.

3.  I lost Full Speed’s tae kwon do belt again.  It’s almost as if his purple belt is made up of Mommy-repellent thread.  I literally can never find it when I need it and I’m usually in a time crunch (in OCD terms this means I’m actually running on time and not my normal fifteen minutes ahead of schedule).

4.  I’ve been laughing out loud while viewing the ‘Penguins of Madagascar‘ cartoon with the boys.  Those penguins crack me up.  Or, maybe I am simply cracking.  A fine line I’m sure…

5.  Any reserve tank of extra patience has been completely diminished and I have lost all calm ability to answer every question, validate every comment or observation and give my complete, undivided attention to T.Puzzle’s and Full Speed’s every utterance or behavior.  Really.  Empty.  Gone.  Goodbye.

6.  I am cheesing out on the nighttime story ritual.  I’ve only managed to do it twice in Mad Dog’s absence.  Like I always say to my kids, “Don’t show me you are sorry with you’re words, show me you’re sorry with your behavior.”  I promise, I’ll do stories tomorrow.   Really.  Honest.  Absolutely.

Good night!

P.S.:  We quickly recovered from our absence of batteries and I was able to run to the store to replenish our supplies.  The pumpkins have been enjoyed by all.  So, the system is imperfect but the results are good.  That’s all you can ask for when you are ‘solo’ parenting.

children, eyesight, health, surgery

Times Two

Full Speed knows something is up. Little T.Puzzle’s first surgery is tomorrow and the air in the house is soaked in anxiety (mainly mine).

I’m taking both boys to the eye doctor this morning. As I picked out little T.Puzzle’s regulatory Thomas shirt for him to wear, Full Speed said he wanted to wear the same.

He never says that anymore. I think it’s his way of showing support for his little brother.

Maybe we’ll make it through after all….

Two is better than one
children, mommyhood


I’m having another one of those days where the world is moving too fast.  Full Speed started his summer camp and will have his first ever soccer game this evening. As for little T.Puzzle, he moved up to a ‘big boy’ class and he wasn’t too pleased.

I am all for my boys growing and maturing, I am just not a huge fan of change. I think part of it is that my boys like routine and anything out of the ordinary can cause a lot of extra stress.

Who am I kidding? I also like routine and anything out of the ordinary causes ME lots of stress. Have you met my kids (or read this blog)? Do you know what I’m up against on a GOOD day?

You change things around and the whole house of cards is about ready to tumble.

children, mommyhood

Follow Suit

There was a music class preview held at our neighborhood amenity center. We bravely attended. Why would we need courage you may ask? Structure and T.Puzzle have a very tumultuous past. It could be a funny disaster or disastrously fun, either way there is danger.

Throughout the course of the class he is slightly aggressive with me. It’s subtle and I am thankful his aggression is channeled to me and not the adorable, one year old girl in the Elmo dress. He sits on my crossed legs with a thump, plants his feet in front of me and pushes back with all his might. It takes a lot of strength on my part to remain upright. At random intervals I have to whisper to him in my scary Mommy voice to ‘knock it off’.

Then there’s a group game. All the kids gather around the teacher and we sing a song about groceries. She directs this question to the gaggle of kids at her feet, “What do you buy at the grocery?”

“Bananas!” a four year old girl says.

The teacher looks at T.Puzzle, “What do you buy at the grocery?”

“Apples!” he says.

I’m so relieved I nearly faint. I was waiting for him to say, “Beer!” or “Guns!” or something wild that would have the whole room questioning the safety of my home as it pertains to child-rearing.

At the end, the teacher puts on the sweetest, most melodic song about thanks and love. We are supposed to rock our kids gently in various configurations to have them wind-down and get some cuddle-connection time with their Mommies. Before the song even hits its first chorus, T.Puzzle is getting intensely wound up. He’s vocally getting loud and I have to lock my legs in fighting stance (see? I pay attention at Tae Kwon Do) so he doesn’t knock me over. I also can barely swing him because he is like a squirmy block of concrete. My friend who attended with me says, “This wouldn’t be a good wind-down routine for him before bedtime I take it.”

“Pretty much, nothing is. And, the really scary part is, he’s my calm child,” I respond.

Overall, he did much better than I anticipated. He didn’t bite, tackle or hit anyone (huge milestone for my boy). He actually participated, danced and even giggled now and then. It wasn’t until it was over that I realized my shoulders were high up around my neck as I had braced myself for the worst. Maybe someday, in the not so distant future, my shoulders will relax and assume a more natural posture. I might even learn to not always expect the worse. I bet if I loosen up, my kid and my shoulders just might follow suit.