motherhood

Full Speed is Home!

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Go ahead.  Ask me if it freaks me out that Full Speed looks like a college freshman in this photo.  I dare you.

He’s actually been home since last week.  I just haven’t had time to write about it.

We officially survived our three weeks of separation and Full Speed enjoyed his experience away so much, he wants to do it again next summer.

However, we all agree, having him home and being together has been awesome.

There’s one particular guy that is extra happy his big brother is home.  He had grown mighty tired of doing all of his chores (which are pretty nominal in the grand scheme) and Full Speed’s, too.

It got to a point when I asked him to do something, he wouldn’t exactly say ‘no’, but would feign being hard of hearing.  Unfortunately for him, his dimples gave him away.

Every.

Single.

Time.

For instance:

“T.Puzzle, please take the trash out.”

Total silence.

Then, slowly, his dimples would cave-in the corners of his cheeks and mischief would dance across his eyes.

He had to take the trash out anyway.

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This pic says it all.

Welcome Home, Full Speed!

Now, go take the trash out.

Love, Mom

 

 

 

 

 

 

children, humor, kids, motherhood

No Filter? No Problem.

I’m thinking of expanding my horizons to television.  I am currently working on a proposal for a Netflix docuseries:

Living with a Filter-less Child:  How Words can Hurt Us Sometimes

It’s a real thing.

A kid that has no filter.

I know.

I live with one.

Mine at least has dimples, thank god.

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But, in all seriousness, I digress.  As T.Puzzle has matured, he does realize that sharing every thought and opinion isn’t necessary.

Progress.

I have lots of discussions with him about it.  For instance, on the way to a friend’s house, I had to go over different scenarios with him for practice.

“Ok, say you end up staying for lunch.  And, maybe, just maybe, what is offered to you isn’t your favorite…what do you say?”

He was quiet for a moment,

“Thank you……

for making me suffer.”

So close.

I won’t even tell you what he planned to do with his dishes once he was done eating.

 

 

children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

The Truth About Dimples

Why is it that inevitibly on the day you have a conference with your child’s teacher they earn a bad behavior report?  This is only worsened by the fact that it is his second in a row in what is turning out to be a possible record breaking number of bad behavior reports.  I mean I’m going to give T.Puzzle credit.  At least he is consistent and obviously committed to racking up a high number of these reports.

His teachers aren’t completely throwing him under the bus.  They say things like, “well, he’s a good kid, he’s just not listening,” or “when he’s in a group he gets in trouble but on his own he is great.”  I don’t know if I buy it.  I kind of do but I’m telling you, his dimples and glasses let that kid get away with more than anybody has a right to.

I know I survived this kind of behavior stuff from Full Speed when he was exactly this age.  I know I have to be consistent and strong with discipline.  T.Puzzle has yet to be unfazed by the consequences he has incurred.  I’m going to have to up the ante just like I did with Full Speed.  I’m running out of options.  Pretty soon I’m going to have to start taking away food, shelter and clothing.

I’m almost postive this would make T.Puzzle a naked, starving and sunburned four year old who still refuses to listen to his teachers. 

Thank goodness for the dimples…

children, health, life in pictures, mommyhood, terrible threes

A ‘Full’ Life

I took little T.Puzzle for his pre-op physical. He still holds on to an element of three year old unpredictability that makes trips to the doctor more exciting than they should be. When the doctor prepares to examine his mouth, he clamps it shut and throws his hands protectively over his lips.

The doctor switches gears.

“Why don’t I look in your ears instead?” she asks little T.Puzzle.

He immediately shoots both his hands up and theatrically covers his ears. He also manages a sliver of a smile while maintaining a rigidly closed mouth.

Impressive.

The doctor turns to me.

“Looks like someone is really full of it today.”

“He’s pretty much full of it every single day,” I say.

Despite his contrary efforts, Little T.Puzzle passed his physical with flying colors.

Luckily, he’s full of dimples, too, and that has saved him more times that I can count.

Little T.Puzzle prepares to dive into the most ginormous slice of pepperoni pizza I have ever seen courtesy of the Mellow Mushroom.