We had the best intentions. It was a family dinner to kick off our weekend. As we sat at the restaurant, things went south quickly.
T.Puzzle was extra whiny and was having difficulty behaving (to put it mildly). Soon he dropped his entire cheese covered burger on the floor and choked down his broccoli as if the broccoli itself was trying to kill him.
Mad Dog and I quickly lost patience.
We wrapped things up in haste and headed home.
“When do the terrible fours end?” asked Mad Dog.
“You said it yourself, age five was the true turning point for Full Speed. We still have a year to go with T.Puzzle,” I replied.
And that folks, is why we only have two children.
Granted, a third one may have actually been laid-back.
Children and gastrointestinal issues go hand in hand. Mad Dog and I have witnessed this firsthand.
When Full Speed shared that his ‘tummy hurt’ and then proceeded to turn a sickly pale color, we changed our dinner plans. Nevermind that we had only seconds before pulled into the restaurant parking lot and were ready to exit the car and head inside.
We weren’t in a gambling mood.
Instead we decided to grab some food at a drive-thru and eat at home. That way if Full Speed had any issues, we would be out of the public’s always watching eyes and have access to cleaning products if the need should arise.
We couldn’t figure out if Full Speed was really ill. He was pale and restrained one moment, then hyper and happy the next.
After we picked up our food and had it spread out on our kitchen table, a low rumbling noise began deep in the bowels of Full Speed. It went on and on a rose with a vengence and a long-winded burp escaped from his lips (you could have spelled Mississippi fourteen times before it was over). An embarrassed smile spread across his face as he smirked out the words, “Excuuuuse meeeee!” Mad Dog and I could tell he instantly felt better as the color returned to his cheeks.
Aha! Full Speed’s stomach ailment was solved.
If only all mysterious child illnesses and behaviors could be dissected so easily.
Whew! Full Speed had a whole week off and T.Puzzle stayed home most of the week, too.
You know some mayhem ensued.
Oh how it did.
We were a busy bunch.
The week started with a ‘date’ for Mom and Full Speed.
The boys saw Santa with their cousin.
We celebrated Thanksgiving and Mad Dog’s birthday. And yes, as a nation, I do believe in our entirety, we felt extreme gratitude that Mad Dog’s birthday coincided on this special day. Or something like that.
Then, Mad Dog and I celebrated his birthday again as Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt Pink graciously hosted our boys. Upon our return, it is unlikely they will be invited back anytime soon. Apparently, someone really needs to talk to their parents about their rowdy behavior. Our apologies.
Then, if all that wasn’t enough, we decorated our Christmas tree. I tried oh-so-hard to let the boys do their thing without anxiously hovering about. They seemed to have fun and I did too, just as long as all our breakable ornaments were hung at the top of the tree (by me!).
By the end of the week, we had two very tired boys on our hands.
When all was said and done, the thing that I am most grateful for is that I was actually sad to send them back to school because we had so much fun together.
Mothering these two strong spirited boys has not been without challenge. To be able to say that I am honestly going to miss them as they trounce back to school is a turning point.
I am learning that even though there were days during vacation that they drove me to tears with their outlandish and stubborn behavior, I am now beginning to see the emergence of who they really are underneath.
The thing about threats is that you have to follow through with them. I mean you don’t have to follow through. You could threaten away until you are blue in the face and the only result would be children who don’t take you seriously.
Seriously? That would be bad.
I told T.Puzzle and Full Speed I would take them out to dinner only with good reports from school. They both succeeded. I was golden. My clean kitchen would remain intact and I would get something to eat I didn’t have to prepare.
Full Speed decided to fake hit me at some point because I made him mad. Yeah, that’s his new thing. Fake hitting Mommy.
This is when I imagine fake locking him in his room until he’s eighteen or stops fake hitting me.
Instead I said he blew it. Even though both boys earned the privilege of dinner out, the privilege was now officially off the table.
When all was said and done, I tried to fake clean my kitchen after the dinner I had to prepare against my will.