children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Ha!

I was lulled into a false sense of security.  I believed my boys would sustain normal, public behavior at length.  Ha!  I had a total of three errands to run with them before Full Speed’s flag football game.  Not ideal to do so much at once, but sometimes, that’s just how the cards fall.  The first errand went beautifully. Glasses were adjusted and manners were used.  At the next stop, that’s when it began to go off the rails.

It started with Full Speed cracking a joke.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love jokes.  I love humor.  It makes life bearable and often times, really, really fun.  We were at a sporting goods store when he picked up a tiny, flowery pink pair of baby girl sport-sandals and said, “Mom, I think these would be a great gift for Dad for his birthday.”  I chuckled and joined in.  We were there to purchase some Under Armour for T.Puzzle.  I picked up a neon-pink, leopard-printed pair of pants and said, “Hey, T.Puzzle, these are perfect for football.”  This was my fatal mistake.  They took Mom cracking a joke to mean that they could run wild.

First, it started with wrestling which then turned into a heated foot race which then led to them picking up teeny, tiny lavender one-pound weights and declaring, “These are the heaviest weights ever!”, as they pumped them furiously up and down.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry so I did a little of both.  The sales kid, oh, how he judged me!  By this time he was helping us size shoes and the boys were continuing their spectacular display of silliness.  I said, “Makes you want to have lots of kids, doesn’t it?”

Not wanting to lose the sale, the sales kid said nothing and sheepishly smiled.

When we returned to the car I had to give the boys my ‘you-better-hold-it-together-at-the-pediatrician’s-or-you-will-regret-it-dearly’ speech.  It worked.  We got through Full Speed’s ten-year wellness check virtually unscathed.

When do I get to run errands and not have to make threatening speeches?  Does it ever happen?  Or, will I always have to scare these boys straight?

Guess I better go back to the store and get some teeny, tiny lavender one-pound weights to build up my endurance because clearly, I am not there yet.

ry=400-14 ry=400-15

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Meaning of Joy

photo-19

 

As a parent, I have a two basic ground rules that I hold near and dear to me.  The first is that when I ask my boys to do something, they are required to do it the first time I ask them.  The second is that good manners and respect are the foundation for everything.  So, as our Spring Break wore on, so did my patience.  The boys weren’t really understanding that they were getting a lot of fun privileges and they were getting rather snarky with me.  Of course, I don’t expect them to be perfect, but when the latest round of rudeness crept onto the scene, I decided to intervene.  For their rainy day Saturday, all electronic privileges were suspended.  I told the boys they had to entertain themselves and they weren’t allowed to ask me how to do so.   Also, they had an early bedtime and had to read actual books, no e-readers allowed until lights out.

I got right up on my soapbox and explained all the ways they had shown ingratitude for the week.  I went play-by-play over the ways they talked back and disrespected me.  As I was finishing up my impassioned argument as to why they were being grounded, T.Puzzle started to crack a little.  Tears rimmed his eyes but never spilled over.  Full Speed, well, he had a different approach.  He decided an electronics-free day sounded AMAZING.  He went on to have the most joy-filled day of his life.  I could tell he was really trying to stick it to me when he patiently played a board game with his brother and didn’t try to choke him out when he lost.  Not on this day, the most joyful day ever.

It got to be almost comical as Full Speed theatrically and vocally expounded on his joy throughout the day.

I have to admit, I admire his creativity.

Full Speed=1

Mom=0

 

children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

So Proud!

Every parent has moments when they are proud of their children.  It might be an ‘A’ on a test they worked really hard for or holding the door open for someone without being told.

This was not one of those times.

T.Puzzle decided he didn’t feel like listening to his teachers all day long (what a shocker!).  They told him since he couldn’t listen he was going to have to sit by the wall for afternoon recess and not be able to play.  They told me that he looked at them and announced that it didn’t matter because his Mom was picking him up early.  He wasn’t even going to be here for recess.

What’s the opposite of pride?  How I felt right then.

Guess who lost all their privileges and had to sit out recess the next morning?

T.Puzzle and Mad Dog. Both handsome and both don't like to be told what to do.
bad day, children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Gifted

I was reading some headlines on the computer when one caught my eye.  It listed 10 signs that children are gifted.  Of course being a parent I was inclined to read it.  They were fairly non-specific and I didn’t leave it with any real sense of whether or not Full Speed and/or T.Puzzle fit the bill.  I then imagined a ‘gifted’ list that would fit my boys to a T.

1.  Throws raging tantrums at fifteen months until the age of five.

2. Believes themselves to be in charge when all evidence points otherwise.

3. Displays episodes of extreme hyperactivity.

4.  Won’t back down from any challenge, imposed discipline or confrontation without a fight.

5.  Fiercely independent.

6. Remembers the tiniest details and won’t ever let you forget them.

7.  Strong-willed doesn’t even began to cover their temperament.

8.  Believes themselves to always, always be right and will argue until they are blue in the face to convince you of their rightness.

9.  Asserts their needs loudly, strongly and often.

10.  Wears down their Mommy until she is certain she can’t remember her own name, where she lives or what she is doing.

Keep in mind this list was written while T.Puzzle was in his room screaming at length because he kept telling me ‘no!’ all morning long and had engaged in his new favorite past-time of ‘run-away-from-Mommy-in-the-parking-lot’.

Thankfully, I’m gifted at discipline.

bad day, children, humor, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, tantrums

Tantrum #437?

Full Speed reading to T.Puzzle. A beautiful thing.

With Mad Dog away this week things can get a little hairy around here.  I tend to be slightly more stressed which in turn means my boys are out to get me.  Well, not really.  It only feels that way.  My stress adds to their stress.  The only difference is that the world sanctions their tantrums.  Mine?  I have to keep to myself or share lovingly with my husband when he returns home.  Lucky him.

T.Puzzle has not disappointed this week.  He is in top, tantruming form.

I have seen so many of these episodes over the years I have lost count.

Or it’s possible my boys have worn me down so much, I have lost my ability to count.

I’m not sure.

Maybe I should throw a tantrum about it.