Chicago Cubs, children, family, humor, motherhood

WFAM Wednesdays!!!

First, before you delve into the wondrous writing I have created below, I want to share my intention to write a post a week for Writes for All Mommies.  I’m a little scared in all honesty, because now that I’ve written this intention and you’ve read the words, I actually have to do it.  So, welcome to WFAM Wednesdays!  I’m grateful you are here.  You rock!

Let the posting commence:

There are many points of light on the horizon of raising children which flit across your awareness and then are gone forever.  The first smile, those first steps, learning how to read, ride a bike…etc., etc.  It all goes by too fast and makes my heart ache with nostalgia.  However, once you are a grown-up, those sweet mile-stoney moments are all but extinct.  Somehow my first mammogram didn’t seem quite so awesome as all the cool things little humans have to master as they journey towards adulthood.  Truth be told, I thought most of my notable moments were behind me.

But then it happened.  By some strange sequence of events and circumstances, something unexpected occurred.

I got carded!

Yes, that’s right.


A forty-three year old mom got carded at the grocery store!

I was so flummoxed when the cashier asked for my I.D., I started to act all weird and suspicious.  To be fair, I was in work-out gear (apparently working it!), had a baseball cap on (Go Cubs!) and the bespectacled cashier never really looked directly at my face.

But hey!  I’ll take it.

This felt so momentous because I am fairly certain this is the last time I will ever be carded in my lifetime.  How’s that for a milestone?  The first-last time you get carded.  It’s a thing now.  Well, a thing I made up but still.  It’s a thing.

Later, when I was cheerfully sharing my wonder over being carded with the boys, I was quickly brought back to reality.

Full Speed:  “So when someone cards you it means they think you aren’t twenty-one?!?  The cashier really thought that????”  (Poor guy looked so confused.)

T.Puzzle: “Bahahaha…..!”  (Basically he laughed to infinity as he rolled around in disbelief.  In fact, if you ran into him today, he’s probably still laughing.  So glad to be the light of humor in your life, Son.  I mean that.  Really.)

So, I was quickly put back in my place and humbled (horrified?).

Thankfully, this old girl loves her life and her disbelieving chuckle-y boys.


Kids Optional

My friend was coming over for dinner. Mad Dog has been out of town all week, so it was a perfect time to catch up with my her. To prepare I went to the grocery for a pasta/chicken dish and grabbed a lovely bottle of wine.

As I was going through check-out the cashier carded me for the wine. This flustered me completely because it was so unexpected. I’m in a groove at the grocery and have my routine. When you ask for my I.D. I can’t function because that’s not a usual part of the process.

I swipe my credit card and it asks for my pin number. Huh? I figured I must have accidentally swiped my debit. I tell the cashier to run it through anyway. Access denied. Now I’m even more confused. I run my credit card again and this time I realize too late that I pushed the debit button instead of credit. That’s why it had asked for my pin previously and didn’t work when I entered it. I have to run my card two more times before I get it right. I could tell the cashier was exchanging a look with the bagger. I’m sure they were wondering if I had already tapped into my wine supply in the liquor isle.

I had not. I attribute this all to a serious case of Mommy Brain. Mad Dog has been out of town all week so that only increases my symptoms of Mommy Brain. I’m scattered, tired, over-anxious and kind of cranky. This week I get to blame everything on Mad Dog’s travel. Can’t find my keys? Mad Dog’s fault. My boys acting up? Mad Dog’s fault, again.

The only solution is for Mad Dog to come home. Inevitably if he has to travel then he has to take me with him (kids optional).