family, motherhood

Greatest Hits (Happy Holidays 2015)

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I don’t know how you top going to the National Championship to see the Buckeyes win in 2015.  It was a spontaneous January trip to Dallas that fortunately ended in a Buckeye victory.  The whole of it was as special as the individual parts.  For Mom, sharing it as a family was the icing on the cake.  To read more, click here:

 The Story of a girl and her Buckeye

Losing a loved one not only changes who you are, it sometimes changes your ability to enjoy the things you used to love.  After losing my mom in 2009, I lost my passion for watching baseball. She was my partner in crime.  Thankfully after years and years of healing, the time to return to baseball finally felt right.  Thank you to the Cubs’ organization for making this season the best in ages.  Thank you especially for beating the Cardinals in the NLDS.  That pretty much sealed the fate of my boys’ allegiance forever.  Seriously, thank you!   To read more, click here:

The Story of a girl and her Buckeye (The Prequel)

Mad Dog and I recently celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary.  Our relationship has weathered life’s ups and downs and above all else, we have maintained an underlying friendship.  He still makes me laugh more than anyone. He still is, in my opinion, ridiculously handsome which is also a plus.  But, the reason I love him so very much is because he loves the real me.  When I struggle with self-acceptance and doubt, he never judges.  When I say things in frustrated despair like, “Why can’t I just be normal?”  He responds with, “Full Speed isn’t ‘normal’, T.Puzzle isn’t ‘normal’ and I’m not ‘normal’.  Just be you.  Once you learn to be comfortable being you, things will fall into place.”  A better response I could not imagine.  Thank you, Mad Dog.  To read more, click here:

 True Love’s Cup

Parenting is hard.  I’ve seen enough and learned enough that the only surety is your ability to accept whatever is in front of you.  This year my boys finally no longer have to patch their eyes for amblyopia (lesser vision in one eye).  This all started when Full Speed was twenty months old.  He recently turned 11.  That’s a long time in kid years.  Again and again my boys and their vision challenges have taught me to accept what I can’t control.  That is so hard to do, but eventually, it’s all that remains.  To read more, click here:

 Eye Am Thankful

I started this blog when my boys were little.  I wrote it to cope.  If you ever had a chance to be around them when they were small, you would understand that my coping skills were challenged relentlessly.  Through the years we’ve all grown.  They continue to evolve.  I’m most grateful for the evolution of who-they-really-are.  They have this core of intangible awesomeness.  We all have it and sometimes the only person who can see it is your mother.  I see it.  They have it.  And, they are awesome.  Let me clarify, they are awesome but they are not perfect.  They back talk and fight.  They have a really hard time following directions, even super-detailed step-by-step directions.  They took FOREVER to potty-train, ride their bikes and tie their shoes.  Full Speed especially didn’t understand my distress over the shoe-tying.  I mean, he would just pay someone to tie them for him once he made it to the NFL anyway, so what was the big deal?   Life is too complicated to only focus on achievements (or lack thereof).  Achievements are a dime a dozen.  They come, they go and in the end, they aren’t really all that important.  That core of awesomeness, it is there, even if your kid gets an ‘F’ on a test (true story, it happens).  Instead, spend your time being present and consciously try to catch a glimpse of their awesomeness.  When you do, it is the best feeling in the world.  It is better than straight ‘As’, four hundred touchdowns or winning a spelling bee. It is Pure Love.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Holiday Blessings

ry=480Another year is drawing to a close and I still marvel at all the ways motherhood continues to challenge me and make me grow.  I am grateful to both my boys for always loving me even though I don’t always get things right.  Their perpetual love of life inspires me.  Their perpetual energy?  I’m still trying to get a handle on that.

Full Speed has grown tremendously this year.  His humor is getting more sophisticated and I love that he can crack me up on a regular basis.  As a fourth grader, I’m fairly sure that Santa’s existence is tenuous at best for him, but he keeps holding onto the dream.  I suspect he is doing it as much for me as he is for himself.  That only makes me love him more.

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T.Puzzle has changed dramatically.  He still has threads of empathy woven permanently into his soul, but it surfaces less now.   All he wants to do is play football.  If he’s not playing it, he’s talking about it.  I miss the sweetness of him, but I admire the competitor he’s become.

Which brings me to the new level of interaction my boys have with Mad Dog.  They all live, eat and breathe football.  Even my precious walks to school with the boys are now consumed with serious discussions about stats and standings.

There isn’t much I can do about it.  It would be like my boys asking me not to be a writer.  I can’t ask them to be something they aren’t.  My job is to help them fully realize who they are.  Right now that happens to be fanatical football fans.  Sure it would be nice to have someone to watch romantic comedies with, take long walks in nature and sit with me in silence as we ponder life and existence.

I guess that’s why dogs were created.

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children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Real Deal

The day has finally arrived when Full Speed asked me point-blank about Santa Claus.  While he has had suspicions in the past, these were easily overcome by simple explanations.  Now, as the reasoning parts of his brain, along with those of his second grade class, are becoming more sophisticated, so are my explanations.  I didn’t mind dropping an occasional fib here and there about the ‘realness’ of Santa.  I’m started to become uncomfortable as my web of lies expands as Full Speed throws more and more complicated questions my way.

How long do I hold out before I have a sit-down with him and he knows the truth once and for all?  Unfortunately, this is feeling like sooner rather than later.  Right now, Full Speed is content to hold on a little longer even though physical evidence seems to indicate there isn’t a Santa.   In his words, “Maybe Santa is invisible.  Just because we can’t see him, doesn’t mean he isn’t real.”

Isn’t faith in anything believing even when it seems impossible and all evidence points to the contrary?

If this is the case, Santa is real.  He is very, very real.

Full Speed busts out is best Santa impersonation…
T.Puzzle’s soapy Santa version.
children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Merry Parenting!

It’s difficult to know how effectively you are doing your job as a stay-at-home Mom.  There isn’t much to go in way of job performance reviews or bonuses for excellence in laundering.  I gauge how I’m doing based solely on the behavior and successes of my children.  This is not a system without its flaws.

We were outside yesterday as I tried desperately to burn some Christmas Eve energy out of the boys.  I ended up keeping them out too long and two meltdowns later, T.Puzzle had to be sent inside. 

Full Speed didn’t mind.  In fact he wholeheartedly agreed he was ready to go inside, too.  He put all the toys away without being asked and happily volunteered to help me put away my folding chair.

“Wow, Full Speed!  I’m so impressed with how helpful you are being.  Way to go!”  I felt so proud of him and myself.  Obviously my caring and thoughtful examples through the years for Full Speed were showing signs of paying off.  I gave myself a gold star for parenting until…

“Mom, I’m being a good helper to make sure I stay on Santa’s good list since Christmas is tomorrow.”

Santa – 1      Mom – 0

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, life in pictures, marriage, mommy cliques, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self care (or lack thereof), self-discovery

Happy 2011, Everyone!

Resolutions for 2011 are as follows–

T.Puzzle: To be Superman when I grow up!

That’s super, man.

Full Speed:  I promise to be the bestest boy in all the land.

Considering his initial behavior at our New Year’s lunch out by the ocean, this goal may be slightly on the lofty side.

Mad Dog:  To get fit and have more patience with my boys.

First of all, I think he looks fantastic as is and secondly, I’m thinking he wanted to add ‘and more patience with my wife’.  Since he was speaking this goal directly to me, he was wise to leave that part out.

Me:  To have more gratitude for what I already have.

Case in point...

That’s the great thing about motherhood, it gives you many reasons to be grateful.  I’m serious, mostly…, and no, I haven’t fallen and hit my head (at least not badly).

These are some of the lessons I learned throughout 2010.

1.  No matter how much you dream it or wish it, you are not in control of your life or your children.  It seems the more I try to micromanage Full Speed’s and T.Puzzle’s behavior, the more likely I am to fail and be miserable in the process.   Sometimes you have to let go and let them be who they are, even if that means they act wild sometimes, forget their manners and generally drive you and your spouse nuts.

2. On good days, motherhood is about the balance between caring for the needs of your kids and caring for your own needs.  On bad days, motherhood is about survival.  All you can do is survive until your children’s bedtime, chalk it up to a bad day and start the adventure anew the next day.

3.  When the bad stuff happens, it’s your best opportunity to learn.

4.  I am extremely lucky to have someone like Mad Dog as my children’s father.  Kids love to emulate what they see, and fortunately for me, this means they see love, respect and generosity as a way of life.

Full Speed puts his hands in his pockets just like Mad Dog on our day at the zoo.

5.  Frustration doesn’t get you very far.  Acceptance, an action plan and forgiveness go a whole lot further in this world.

6.  Having kids allows you to remember your own sense of fun.  It’s also a great excuse to wear silly hats when you ring in the new year.

Happy New Year, Everyone!