humor, motherhood

Thankful: Why I Will Never be (C)lonely

The first time I held Full Speed, I had an out-of-body moment.  A sense of calm filled me and a quiet understanding of love filled my heart.  This fleeting moment of peace buoyed me through those first weeks of motherhood.

As family and friends paraded through our home excited to meet our firstborn, one theme remained constant, his eery physical similarity to Mad Dog.  In fact, my mother would sometimes feel uncomfortable holding him because she had an unsettling feeling that she was actually holding Mad Dog.  While she loved Mad Dog dearly as a son-in-law, she preferred an occasional polite hug to extended snuggling.  Frankly, I was so tired I probably wouldn’t have noticed either way.

With Full Speed’s paternity clearly locked down, as the years passed, I wondered if he would ever resemble me in any capacity.   Other than showing a penchant for writing, he almost is 100% Mad Dog.  The upside of this is, whenever Mad Dog travels, I have an outstanding stand-in to keep me company.  Lately as a bonus, he is even throwing in the exact behavior patterns of Mad Dog’s that sometimes drive me a little crazy.  For instance, he cannot find things that are in plain sight, runs into counters and cabinets oftentimes knocking himself soundly in the head and he insists I did not tell him something when I absolutely did(!).

Thanks to you Full Speed, I will never be (c)lonely.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Happy to look exactly like my dad.


Just to clarify, Full Speed’s the one in glasses.


Cloning is for real.
children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self-discovery, tantrums

Bring It

T.Puzzle and his glorious smile

Denial is a wonderful coping mechanism.  I’m learning it lasts for as long as a delicate psyche needs and then collapses when you’ve reached a head space that allows for the truth.

When T.Puzzle was born and he screamed louder than any newborn has a right to, I clearly remember thinking, “Hey, wait a minute.  You’re suppose to be my easy kid.”  I had made a silent agreement with T.Puzzle while he was in utero that he was going to be a milder version of Full Speed.

In some ways this was true.  He actually stayed put long enough for me to on occasion hold and snuggle him.  He broke into easy smiles with his incredible dimples a-blazin’ and he actually played calmly with baby toys for extended periods.

Other signs that T.Puzzle would be ‘easier’, or more likely helped feed my denial, were his slightly more sensitive nature and his skill at reading and reacting to other people’s emotions.  Early on we labeled him ‘our little social worker’.

Great.  This was good.  I rolled along and headed into his ‘terrible twos’ feeling like I was finally going to have an upper hand.

I was completely wrong.  He tantrummed with the same passionate zest as his brother before him.  The only things that kept me going through this were the glimpses of his social worker nature and my dear, sweet friend denial.  No matter how ugly the tantrums became he would always quickly win me back with his, “I love you, Mommys” and loving hugs.

Then came this summer and that’s when denial packed up its bags and left me for good.  T.Puzzle has continued his tantrumming phase well into his fourth year exactly the same as Full Speed.  Unfortunately for this latest phase of summer tantrums the gloves are off.  He is proving that he can run with the big boys and has shown such a ferocity of independence that it is at once frightening and awe-inspiring.

All I can say is bring it T.Puzzle.  This ain’t my first rodeo, kid.

children, happiness, humor, mommyhood, parenting

Are You My Mother?

One of the absolute highlights of motherhood is the unexpected humor.  It helps because if you are laughing you are less likely to be crying.

Full Speed is convinced that his Aunt Skee gave birth to him and that Mad Dog and I ‘adopted him’.  Long ago when looking at his newborn photos he came across a super-smiley pic of my sister holding him at the hospital.  I guess because she seemed genuinely euphoric at his arrival (while I looked dazed and confused), he assumed that my sister must be his ‘Mom’.

See what I mean? Dazed? Confused? Check and check.
The pic of Aunt Skee and Full Speed that started it all.

No matter how many times I tell him the truth, “Yes, I am your Mom.  I’ve always been your Mom.  No amount of labor or pain meds during my labor will ever change that fact, Full Speed (ok, I left this last sentence out, but you get the gist).”  He just doesn’t believe me.  He brings it up at random times, too.  Like today, “Remember when I was born and I was Aunt Skee’s baby and you and Dad came and got me?”  I’ve learned not to fight it.  “Yes, Full Speed.  I remember.  Your Dad and I came and saw you and you were so cute we took you home.”

“Yes, and I was even cuter than my brother.  He was a BIIIIIG baby!”

I realized through my tears of laughter he must have heard my many less-than-wonderful references to birthing all 9 lbs. 7 oz. of  his ‘little’ brother, T.Puzzle.

T.Puzzle (a.k.a. BIIIIIG baby) gets set to be weighed on his arrival day.

But trust me, my boys are equally cute.  And funny, too.