humor, motherhood

When Left to Their Own Devices…

T.Puzzle needed me to sign a paper in his folder.  I use the word ‘folder’ loosely here.  While my occupations as a stay-at-home-mom and writer/dreamer/blogger have their busy work, I often have very little need for folders.  Therefore, when I saw T.Puzzle’s ‘folder’, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was seeing:

Apparently he ‘stores’ it at the bottom of his backpack.

This may be where all paper-based products go to die.

Speaking of dying, this segues nicely into our little family weekend adventure.  I have to preface this by saying that of my three boys, Mad Dog normally requires the least amount of supervision.  I may have to change this policy to preserve his safety.

On Friday, Mad Dog had a routine root canal.  He seemed to have the pain mostly managed and overall, had everything ‘under control’.

Shortly after when he took the allotted four ibupofren to manage pain, he realized he accidentally ingested four of his antibiotic pills instead.

He should have taken 300mgs, but decided to go all out with 1200mgs.

To save you time, here is what Google said:

1200mgs is the very top of what a doctor would prescribe and only in a dire, life-threatening bacterial infection kind of way.  It said nothing about ingesting the 1200mgs as a way to threaten your own life in a general, absent-minded way.

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Taking too many antibiotics?

Thankfully, Mad Dog made it safely through the night.  Unfortunately, he nows move to the top of the list as being the most supervised of my three boys.

 

 

 

children, family, health, motherhood

Oh Well(ness) Visit

There are so many aspects of motherhood that get easier and easier as your children grow.  It is so nice to be able to take the boys for their wellness check-ups and for the most part, they behave like normal people.  For the most part,…

I no longer have concerns about Full Speed’s attitude or behavior while at the doctor.  As for T.Puzzle, his behavior is generally really good, but his attitude is precarious at times.

Overall, his recent 9 year wellness-check went very smoothly.  That is until we got to the portion where the doctor had to ask him direct questions.  Left to his own devices, it’s hard to know what he’s going to say.

Doc: “What grade are you in?”

T.Puzzle: “Third grade.”

So far so good.

Doc: “What do you drink with your meals?”

Imperceptibly, I gulped.

T.Puzzle: “Milk.”

I’m glad he didn’t share with her the 14,000 gallons of Sprite he consumed over holiday break.

The rest of the questions he answered as you would expect.  Grades? Fine.  Wearing a bike helmet?  Check.  Favorite food to eat?  Chinese (at least there are some vegetables in it, right?).

Then the questions turned to favorite hobbies.

Doc:  “What do you do for fun?”

T.Puzzle: “Video games.”

I appreciated his honesty and since his weight and height were in a normal range for him, I don’t think the doctor was concerned.  Also, the myriad of bruises and scars on his legs were evidence that he’s a rough and tumble kind of kid.

Doc: “What do you do to keep active?”

He looked to me to explain what she meant.

Me: “You know.  When Mom and Dad make you play outside?”

He paused momentarily….

T.Puzzle: “It’s classified.”

So close…

Better luck next year!

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T.Puzzle with Mad Dog celebrating turning 9 at Legoland.

 

humor, motherhood

The Frog of Doom

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A while back there was a Dead Lizard Incident in my house.  I found this unfortunate fellow in my Amazon box and consequently lost my ability to reason, but not my ability to purchase from Amazon (sorry Mad Dog).  Full Speed had to rescue me and dispose of the limp, lifeless and oh-so-disgusting body.  The point is, me and small, slimy-looking critters are not friends.  If they stay away from me, I’m happy to let them exist, but if they come near me or worse yet, come in my HOUSE, I stop functioning as a proper adult.

Mad Dog is once again traveling for work.  This means that I am the lone, sane adult person responsible for all remaining members of our household.   Per my usual routine and ‘being the one in charge’ I went to our screened in lanai to let our dogs out first thing in the morning.  As I did so, I absently placed my feet in my slippers.  I noticed the toes on my left foot brushed up against something and proceeded to tap out the slipper to figure out what it was.

It was a frog.

Let me repeat, it was a frog.

For some strange reason, I didn’t panic.  I felt nauseous and wanted to cry, but I held it together.  I poked the frog with the end of the slipper and much to my horror, realized it had expired.  My toes basically had touched a dead frog.

I’ll give you a minute while you let that sink in.

There aren’t words to convey how traumatic I found this to be.  Again, amazingly I kept my cool, and proceeded to let the dogs out so I could start my day.  I figured when the boys came downstairs Full Speed could ‘rescue me’ again and dispose of the body.  I opened our back screen door and turned to tell the dogs to get a move on, and then, that’s when I saw an empty open space where I thought a dead frog should be.

The frog was not dead.

Let me repeat, the frog of doom was not dead.

To worsen matters, the doors to the interior of my house were still open.  So, did it go in or did it go out?  I didn’t know.

Well, there was much to be done.  I came in the house, headed straight to the cabinet under the kitchen sink and grabbed the Lysol.  After I sufficiently Lysoled my bare foot, as I could and still can feel the exact spot on my toes that had come into contact with the frog, I sat down to reason through my next steps.  Clearly, I am burning the slippers, that is a no-brainer, and I plan to use the smoke from this fire to signal to Mad Dog that I have permanently relocated our family to a frog-free zone.

It’s what any logical, sane person would do, right?

children, humor, motherhood

Buckets of Fun

As a wife and mother, I have learned to pick my battles.  Over the years I have honed what is worth fighting for and what is not worth the effort.  I have even gone so far as to fully embrace the Buckeyedom that envelops my family’s life.  Ultimately, I’m more concerned about my family as a unit than what team we cheer for (however, please note, I will be cheering for the Illini in the Big Ten basketball tournament).

Being immersed in the Buckeye culture, I’ve come to look forward to our annual Buckeye Cruise for Cancer (over 2 million raised this cruise for the Urban & Shelley Meyer Fund for Cancer Research).  This was our eighth Buckeye cruise and the first time we decided to take the boys.  It happily coincided with a National Championship win.  We all had a blast.

Our Cruise Day Arrival

Our cruise day arrival

Boys meeting Anthony Schlegel, a Buckeyes’ Strength and Conditioning Coach

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Family pic with the National Trophy

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Full Speed politely dancing with me…I love this kid!

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T.Puzzle’s awesome balloon hat from Cozumel, Mexico…love that smile!

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At the Cozumel dock

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Upon our return, as I’ve already allowed some Buckeye decor into my home, I wasn’t all that excited to add more helmets and footballs signed by who-knows-what.  In my opinion, we have plenty.  Then, it all came down to a bucket.  Why on earth did Mad Dog need to bring home a bucket from the cruise?  Keep in mind, it was used poolside to hold beer.  Yes, that makes it sound more attractive, right?  It’s not.  It’s a bucket.

It’s.

A.

BUCKET.

Mad Dog passionately insisted we HAD to bring the bucket with us.  So what if it advertises a beer we don’t drink?  Who cares that we don’t really need it for really anything at all?  The only thing that matters is that it has a Buckeye logo on it.  That is it.  That is all.

I didn’t fight it.  The bucket is home.

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Now, if it was a Downton Abbey bucket, then, it would be amazing AND completely necessary!

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

One Stop Shopping

Both boys are now at the same school.  Oh, how I love one stop shopping.  I couldn’t have asked for a better first week.  Did I mention T.Puzzle started kindergarten?  I’m handling it surprisingly well.  When I feel a wave of abandonment descending upon me, all I do is picture his happy little face as he bounces out the door, and then I am reassured.  I will not allow myself to wallow in sadness when clearly, my kid is happy.  Still, I can neither confirm or deny the shedding of a tear or two on T.Puzzle’s behalf.

The week started with their school orientation and meeting their teachers.  Before entering the school premises, I sternly lectured/threatened  my boys.  They were so excited that I knew their self-control would be questionable at best.  They held it together incredibly well.  Of course, once we returned home, they wrestled like crazy for almost an hour (no injuries to report, thank you!).  I can honestly say, I have never had the urge to violently wrestle my sister after having behaved in a mannerly fashion for an extended period of time.  Not once. 

By the end of the week, a new drop-off routine has emerged.  Full Speed has taken his job as big brother seriously and escorts T.Puzzle to class in the morning.  Full Speed even stated that walking T.Puzzle to class is one of his favorite things about his new school year.  Coincidentally, that is one of my favorite things he has ever said. 

Here’s to a great school year!