gratitude, happiness, mommyhood, potty training

And the Winner Is…

We attended the Vision Is Priceless annual meeting. My friend and director of VIP  encouraged me strongly to attend as well as bring the boys. I was leery bringing the boys to such a formal, child-free event but her persistence and the organization itself is hard to resist.

I admired the gathering of people as they chatted, drank cocktails and munched on appetizers. I basically just held my breath for two hours waiting for the boys to spontaneously wrestle. To complicate matters, little T.Puzzle is still potty-training without much success. So Mad Dog and I had to monitor his activity closely and try to convince him not to poop in his underwear and nice dress shorts.

I did my best to attempt to engage in conversation with all the interesting and kind adults, but my attention was decidedly split. One half immersed in the meeting, one half closely tracking the antics of my boys. It made me feel completely schizophrenic.

When it was time for the evening’s presentation, the boys were called up to the front and their ophthalmologist spoke about their condition as well as their amazing progress. They were the hit of the party. As an added bonus, I was given a volunteer recognition award for promoting public awareness of Vision is Priceless. A pleasant and unexpected surprise.

Thankfully, I not only owe thanks to Vision is Priceless for the award but I also owe a thanks to the invention of handheld gaming devices. Without them, this post would have had much more chaos and disaster. With the gaming devices, this post was a winner.

Just like me.

mommyhood, potty training

Big Boy Underpants

Potty-trainging little T.Puzzle has become the bane of my existence. I’m giving it until the end of this week and then either I’m going to go on a huge bender (you are more than welcome to join me) or I’m putting him back in pull-ups. I can tell there has been some maturation and progress on his part (ironically, my maturation and progress seems to be diminishing). He only screams and cries for a minute or so before he starts telling me that ‘I not poop!’ or ‘the poop is hiding, Mommy!’ Before, he would just scream and cry the entire time I left him on the potty. He also told Mad Dog while we were at a movie this weekend that he had to pee. They raced to the bathroom and made it in time. So this is moving in a positive direction.

However, the pooping (oh! the pooping!) is still not clicking. I mean he still is pooping just mostly in his pants. As I was putting away laundry and fussing around the house, I came across him sitting next to his brother watching Frack play computer games in dirty, wet underpants. Apparently, he could care less about how disgusting that really is.

Thus, my huge bender approacheth!

children, mommyhood, potty training

Teach by Example

I took the boys to IHOP for dinner because they were well-behaved for their hair-cuts (sort of) and my kitchen was clean and I wanted it to stay that way. It was basic insanity at the restaurant as usual but we managed to have a good time.

That morning I had decided to try little T.Puzzle in big boy underpants again to see what would happen. He had a couple of accidents including an unfortunate incident involving a good length of his train tracks, but caught on to keeping his pants dry pretty quick. Of course the pooping is a whole different matter.

As we were finishing up our dinner little T.Puzzle starts emitting some squeaky sounds from his nether regions and I could smell, I mean I could tell, that he was going to need to potty soon. When we arrived home I took a less than compliant T.Puzzle to the bathroom. As I’m about to place him on the potty, Full Speed busts in and says, “T.Puzzle, I gotta poop, let me show you how it’s done.” He hops up on the pot and states, “See that brown stuff coming out of my booty? That’s how it’s done!” Apparently little T.Puzzle just got ‘schooled’. It was highly entertaining.

Once it was little T.Puzzle’s turn he cried and complained and refused to go. I decided to ignore him. Partially because Full Speed needed my attention for something and partially because I am so tired of the power struggle of poop, I sort of locked myself into a pleasant denial bubble. My logic was if I tuned out his complaining then it must not actually be happening.

About five minutes later little T.Puzzle shockingly announces that he ‘POOPED!”

I was so excited I almost passed out.

What does that say about my life?

Please, don’t answer that.

children, humor, kids, life in pictures, mommyhood

Genius Ahead

You know how you are pretty certain that your children are gifted, talented and absolutely unique even though they sometimes drive you crazy? There must be some parental filter in our brains that takes in the data of our kids and somehow skews it so we think they are the next Einstein. This is actually a great thing because it helps on the days that all you want to do is pull your hair out in mommyhood frustration.

Of course I’m convinced that little T.Puzzle is some sort of puzzle genius. I also believe that we are really good at the things we love (that is why I only kind of like singing and cooking) and little T.Puzzle clearly loves puzzles.

We are heading into that time of year where if you aren’t at a beach or the by the pool, your tendency is to want to stay indoors to avoid the heat. This of course is a challenge with someone like little T.Puzzle. I bought him a Thomas the Train puzzle to help occupy our day. It has small pieces and is for ages 4-8. Once we got the puzzle home, he worked meticulously and completely unassisted and had it assembled in no time flat.

Of course I thought he was amazing and couldn’t believe his unbelievable tenacity and talent. I went to congratulate him and he announces, “I pooped my pants!”

That brought me down to earth in a hurry. I’m pretty sure when Einstein created all his amazing formulas and theorems, he was in fact, completely toliet-trained.

Looks like there still is a long road ahead to genius.

children, mommyhood, self-discovery

Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)

I want little T.Puzzle to be completely potty-trained. I want Full Speed to ride his bike without training wheels. I would like world peace, extraordinary culinary skills and a personal butler named Gerard. None of these things are happening. The potty thing just isn’t clicking for T.Puzzle and Full Speed is as uninterested as can be about losing the training wheels.

This frustrates me beyond all measure. I take it personally if little T.Puzzle has a messy accident. It hurts me that I can’t teach Full Speed this new life skill of two-wheel bike riding.

Since I can’t change how things are, all I can do is change my perspective, right? Will it matter in five years when exactly they master these milestones?


Not one little bit.

So, to recap, T.Puzzle’s back in pull-ups and Full Speed’s riding lessons have been postponed indefinitely.

I feel better already.