children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, Taekwondo

The Motherland

Mad Dog has taken the boys to tae kwon do practice two days running.  I have whole-heartedly enjoyed the reprieve.

As they sauntered out to the studio Full Speed was shocked that Mom was staying behind.

“You’re not coming with us?  What are you going to do, Mom?”

I didn’t want to share that my plans consisted of a whole lot of nothing.  I had a hot date with my Redbook magazine and XM Radio holiday traditions, baby.

“Well, Mom, I guess you are going to the Motherland to rest and relax,” he decided.  I love that he coined this new term and acted as if we use the word ‘Motherland’  in casual conversation all the time.

That’s when it dawned on me.  I need to create a Disney-like complex dedicated for Moms only.   There would be kiosks of cocktails and stores full of fashion and shoes.  Instead of rides and attractions there would be spa treatments and chocolate tastings.  It would have fantastic lighting that would flatter the face and a perimeter flanked with mirrors that when looked in, would reflect back a slimmer silhouette.

We would all feel beautiful, loved and appreciated.  I’d even open the doors to anyone who is a caregiver in any capacity.  Daycare teachers, Grandmas, nurses, friends, etc. would all be welcome.

Anyone care to join me?

humor, kids, kindergarten, mommyhood

Kindergarten Lessons

The boys ‘quietly’  sitting on the couch together

As we drove past big brother Full Speed’s soon-to-be grade school, he began to explain a few things to his little brother.

“See T.Puzzle?  That’s where I will go to kindergarten. Maybe next time you can come with me to my screaming (screening).”

Little T.Puzzle was duly impressed. Full Speed continued.

“The hardest part of starting kindergarten will be keeping quiet and only talking during recess. I don’t know how I’m going to do it,” he said.

Frankly, neither do I.