Tag: resilience

motherhood

Turning Point

WFAM

Like the seasons, motherhood evolves. Sometimes over days and months, sometimes it takes years. One day you wake up, the sun is shining and you realize everything is different.

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment everything changed. I can, however, list the indicators life would never be the same:

  • Full speed driving me to an appointment (!)
  • The boys cleaning out their clothes and snatching some of their too-small t-shirts for my own
  • Full Speed calling Mad Dog from school to bring his I. D. and Mad Dog not recognizing his voice because it was so deep
  • Picking T. Puzzle up from school and spotting him instantly as he was a head taller than everyone else

My biggest challenge ahead is letting life teach them without trying to interfere.

They are now realizing life can be unfair and cause pain.  Where I used to be able to shield them from uncertainty which gave me a wobbly sense of control, I am no longer a barrier to the truth of the world.  There are pandemics, political and social injustices, navigating school hierarchies, and the reality even kind and decent souls aren’t exempt from heartache. I am trying to find the balance in talking to them about tough topics and respecting when they want to be quiet.

I am learning, too.

I can’t always make things better, but I can respect the fortitude and resilience of both my boys.  They have both shown me in ways big and small they have the intellect and compassion to come to terms with life as it is.  My greatest hope as we enter this new phase of our relationship to one another is to walk alongside them.

Who am I kidding?

They already are leading the way.

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T.Puzzle getting recognized in our local paper
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Full Speed earning his varsity letter for manager.
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Full Speed in action, keeping JV stats.

motherhood

Little Miracles (2020 Year in Review)

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As the year draws to its conclusion, this is the time to reflect on the adventures we have embodied and to highlight the triumphs and glory that made our hearts sing. For our family, we had these moments. Mad Dog’s new job, moving to the beach, Full Speed’s coaching dreams pursued, T. Puzzle’s spelling bee victory, but they somehow pale in comparison to the one simple fact, …

we survived.

So did you.

If no one has told you lately, let me remind you what a marvel you are. You didn’t give up, even on the darkest mornings and the bleakest days. You kept rising to the challenges that erupted like land mines across all your expectations.

I am dedicating this post to you.

What an honor you continue to be a part of our family’s journey. Thank you for all the ways big and small you have shown up for us, for your loved ones and I pray above all else, for yourself.

Now that we have the scars of survival etched in our hearts, this is our roadmap to the turnaround. This is where the lessons learned, the gratitude gleaned, and the hope harvested move us beyond our collective healing.

This is where our survival becomes a revival.

We can’t prevent disaster but now we know whatever happens, we will get through it. 2020 tried everything in its power to stop us. It knocked us down more times than it lifted us, but we kept righting ourselves back to the life in front of us. To all those tiny, precious details we never had time to notice, until 2020 halted our motion and busyness and these little miracles were all we could see.

What beauty to know our strength is infinite and that together or apart, we are one.

Thank you for reading. May the year ahead provide us with all that is needed to grow our courage, cherish what matters, and cultivate love for ourselves and for one another.

Welcome to Siesta D!

children, motherhood, parenting

Winning to Me

WFAM

Full Speed had a respectable seventh place finish out of thirty-seven at his school’s bee.  The difference between him participating as a fifth grader and now is unbelievable.  He used to be the smallest, now he is among the tallest.  His voice, the depth of which I found unsettling, held steady as he spouted off each letter.

I no longer saw a boy on that stage.  In his place stood a confident young man.

Leading up to the competition, T.Puzzle and I continued a lively debate.  He believes a person is awesome only if they are winning.  I still hold that awesomeness is static.  Sometimes that expresses as external achievement, but mostly it is comprised of intangibles.  I do not fault T.Puzzle for his perspective.  Our culture exalts individual, external success.  Winning makes sense to him.  I get that.

Maybe Full Speed did not technically win the spelling bee, but from my view he demonstrated what it means to succeed.  He had the nerve to get up on that stage and compete with all eyes of the auditorium zeroed in on him.

I couldn’t do that.

I probably wouldn’t even be able to spell my name right in that situation.

When it was all said and done, he bounced back quickly.  He did not entertain the notion that misspelling a word defines him a person.

That feels like winning to me.

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