humor, motherhood, parenting, self care?

Post Traumatic Tiki Bar Disorder

IMG_4971As Mad Dog and I gathered around the corner table with his colleagues from the weekend awards’ summit, someone asked me if I had recovered from the Tiki Bar from the day before.  My hands immediately went to my ears at the sound of the words ‘tiki’ and ‘bar’ as my body shuddered at the memory.  Not because of my day spent at the Tiki Bar, more likely, because of the after-effects of my day at the Tiki Bar.

It had all started out innocently enough.  Mad Dog and I had a rare opportunity to go to the hotel’s gym for a workout together.  We were making the most of our kid-free getaway while also celebrating the enumerable accomplishments of Mad Dog’s incredible work team.  You can’t not have fun celebrating other people, this awards’ summit is seriously one of my favorite events of the whole year.  Post-workout we continued our charade of having zero responsibility.  We parked ourselves at table by the Tiki Bar for an oceanside lunch accompanied by some ridiculously awesome cocktails.  Our intent was to enjoy a drink or two, then head back to our room to get dressed up for dinner date.  It quickly went off the rails (in the best possible way) from there. We found some friends hanging out at the bar, pulled up some barstools and proceeded to not leave for another 10 hours.  I tried to blame Mad Dog later for not supervising me better, but he promised he had done his part.  The problem was all his friends and colleagues were courteously buying me cocktails without his knowledge.  I honestly don’t know how many drinks I had.  This all eventually led to an epic day/night of fun and laughter but, you know where this is going, the aftermath of which I payed for dearly.

I was extremely disappointed I had to miss a good portion of the events the following day.  I truly wanted to support Mad Dog and his team for all the hard work leading up to this summit.  However, I simply could not.  Mad Dog had to tuck me in and with lots and lots of Gatorade, I made a slow and steady recovery.

I was so worried about how people would react to my absence but across the board, everyone was so supportive and understanding.  I had no reason to feel guilty or ashamed.  They all said that a mom should be allowed to have a carefree night of fun.

I’m in no way suggesting that you need to go on a massive bender to reclaim your individuality, but it’s okay to let your hair down on occasion whatever that looks like for you.

Never forget the wild-child that lived in your heart as you grew into womanhood and beyond.

She deserves a day at the Tiki Bar.

children, happiness, health, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self care (or lack thereof)

Rockin’ Thursday

It’s amazing how quickly we adapt to what life throws at us.  Mad Dog is in full swing as ‘Mr. Mom’ and has perfected a seamless morning routine with the boys.  Apparently, Full Speed is in charge of helping T.Puzzle put on the clothes that Mad Dog has laid out from the night before.  Full Speed does well with this until it’s time for the pants.  He has to count to three and as T.Puzzle jumps,  Full Speed attempts to pull T.Puzzle’s  pants the rest of the way up.  The key is timing and yanking the pants precisely when T.Puzzle has reached mid-flight.   I have yet to see this in person, but I can hear an awful lot of commotion coming from the boys’ room as this new ritual takes place.  It sounds highly entertaining.

I am adapting by setting my daily goals very low. 

Today, I did a load of laundry.

What’s next? 

I may get wild and crazy and shower.

Clean clothes AND a clean me? 

Talk about a rockin’ Thursday.

health, self care (or lack thereof)

Ocean Drive

p2142575So, at five-thirty this a.m. I find myself awakened to a swollen throat. The right side of my neck is throbbing and my right ear is aching like a son of a gun. I realize with dread that this is the day I have to seek medical attention.

First, Full Speed is off to school and then secondly, I have to stop for my allergy shots (I’m so close to maintenance shots which means less future trips to the allergist that I cannot skip). From there I will head to the Minute Clinic at CVS pharmacy. Of course T.Puzzle must accompany me on both of these glorious outings (let the record reflect my sarcasm).

The allergy shots went fine if you think getting poked with a sharp needle three times is fine (which I do not). I think T.Puzzle may have overdosed on Cheerios and Goldfish (the crackers, not the actual fish in the office aquarium) while we waited. I didn’t mind because he was quietly content.

I called Mad Dog and asked him to get directions to the Minute Clinic from the allergy office and text them to me. He did and I sent him a quick text of ‘thanks’.

I think I am delirious. I didn’t trust the directions and felt I knew what I was doing. I went the wrong way for a long, long time. I pull over because I am sensing we are getting close to the ocean which isn’t good unless of course you want to go to the ocean (which I do not). I call Mad Dog and he tells me immediately where I made my mistake and how to correct it. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been sick all week or if I am fed up that I’ve been sick all week, but I didn’t handle this suggested course correction well. Okay, I flippin’ lose it. Don’t worry, Mad Dog has heard worse from me but it doesn’t make it right. We end our conversation and tears are streaming down my frustrated face.

I turn around and I finally stumble upon the Clinic. T.Puzzle and I enter and then wait to check-in at the kiosk. I kid you not; the man in front of us took FOREVER to sign in. I don’t know what he was doing but it took an enormous amount of willpower not to yank the touch-screen stylus from his hand and enter his information for him (as a side note, it took me less than two minutes to sign in and I was holding a squirming, thirty-five pound, two year old).

We wait our turn and I bring out the DVD player for T.Puzzle. That is something I rarely do. Believe me I have weathered enough outings, doctor’s appointments, ophthalmology visits without resorting to digital entertainment for my kids. Today is the exception because I feel like crap. The woman next to me makes some snotty comment about ‘kids today’ and how they need computerized stuff to be entertained and that they don’t know how to exist without it. I felt too crappy to argue but it really cheesed me off.

To add insult to injury when I finally see the nurse practitioner she says there isn’t a darn thing she can do to alleviate my misery. Basically, I had a nasty virus and my body is fighting it off the best it can, hence the enormous, painful swelling of my glands in my neck. The swelling is what is making my throat hurt and probably causing the earache, too.

I realize I should be thankful that it hasn’t manifested into a nasty bacterial infection in my sinuses, ears or throat (which is what normally happens). However, I was hoping for something, anything to make me feel better. Only time can heal all wounds and apparently viruses, too.

children, health, mommyhood, parenting, self care (or lack thereof)


Frick school picFrack's school picIs it counterproductive to take pictures of your kids as they are on their way out the door to have their pictures taken at school? I couldn’t help myself because they were too adorable. And they still let me dress them alike. Yeah, I’m one of those annoying Moms and I love it. I won’t do it forever. Just until they are eighteen or get a job and leave my house. No, I’m kidding. I’m realizing the window for alike dressing is soon to be closing. Until then, my boys are going to rock it out identically.

I’m still sick and achy. Now it seems my overall body soreness has crept up to my neck and my throat is hurting. I think my fever is back (although I’m guessing it never left to begin with) and I’m feeling yucky. I sucked it up today as best I could. This was the first day both boys were back at school in long while and I needed to take advantage of their absence. I cranked on errands and household duties. I held strong for the first part of the day and now I feel like a pile of well, you know what.

I’m sure that if you if you are reading this you are thinking ‘Go to the doctor you silly girl!’ (yes, I like to imagine you referring to me as a girl as much as possible, when you are over thirty it helps). I will in due time. If you are a Mom (or Dad for that matter) and are reading this you understand that I still have at least another day or so of being miserable before I make time to go see a healthcare professional. As a parent you have to be sick in a major, major way to allow for a medical intervention. It’s too inconvenient. When you finally do have a spare moment, you find that you have a list of about one hundred and thirty-seven things on your to-do list that take precedence (oh, like I don’t know, making sure your family has clean underwear or maybe food). And you know you always, always could pack up your kids and take them with you to the walk-in clinic but who in their right mind would want to do that? If you weren’t sick before you go, you will certainly be sick (mentally) by the time you leave there.

All I hope is that by Full Speed’s real birthday celebration this Saturday I feel my best. Otherwise, no amount of liquor or consumption of Transformer-decorated-sugar will get me through. I only have myself to blame (oh yeah, and motherhood, too!).

children, loss of parent, mommyhood, self-discovery, terrible twos

Stinky Socks


At Full Speed’s mini-birthday celebration T.Puzzle fought tooth and nail when presented with the decorated eggless cupcakes. I wasn’t surprised. He likes to defy everything and anything that I want him to do. I didn’t fight him on it. If he didn’t want it, fine. Of course an hour later he decided he wanted it and ate the whole thing.pa183389

The next morning I woke up feeling incredibly achy from my head to the tips of my toes. At first I thought I was just old then I realized that I was coming down with something. Once the stomach distress set in (I will spare you the details) I knew that I was in for a long, long day.

As I attempted to get T.Puzzle ready for his school photo he threw a fit because I removed his socks from the night before. Heaven forbid that his Mom put on clean socks for him. I sent him screaming to his room. What. Ever.

After T.Puzzle’s drop-off (don’t ask me how I got him to school because I don’t remember) I had to take Full Speed to the Children’s Clinic. Again. Granted we are lucky to have such awesome care. Even so, I was feeling less than upbeat about another trek downtown Jacksonville (you know achy, old body and all). If you ever need to reach me and I’m not home, try the Children’s Clinic, Third Floor, Ophthalmology.

I think my life is catching up to me. The stresses of Full Speed’s surgeries and aftercare, T.Puzzle’s unrelenting terrible twoness and the ever present twinge of missing my Mom have converged on me all at once. My whole body hurts. My whole spirit hurts.

I’m in need of some rest in a major way. Unfortunately, in my line of work I haven’t accrued any vacation time. I guess that’s okay because ultimately I love my job no matter how much I might grumble at its challenges. However, I’m fairly certain my house, my personal hygiene and my overall disposition are going to be less than pleasing in the days to come. I may even forgo clean socks. T.Puzzle is on to something with that one….