humor, motherhood

When It Rains It Pours (Vomit?): Lucky Post #800!

Judy the American Airlines flight attendant is my new, very best friend.  No offense to my current stock of friends, but Judy is my everything.

She just is.

A close second is the person who invented Clorox wipes, but I digress.

The week leading up to when my serious girl crush developed had all sorts of mayhem crammed into it.  First and foremost, there is Little Guy.  His eye care has recently gone next level.  Rounds and rounds of drops/ointments, pain meds, surgery, office visits and wearing a cone are just some of the delights he is experiencing.  This also happened to be the week I had to take boys’ to their new eye doctor for the first time.  If you know any of their eye history, this is no small task AND we had an out-of-state wedding to prepare for and travel to.  Imagine trying to explain Little Guy’s thirteen sets of eye meds to a dog sitter (not including his as-needed pain meds):

IMG_6078

Just imagine.

Our dog sitter and her family are also my other new, very best friends.

Miraculously, Little Guy held steady while we were away and at today’s follow-up, dropped from thirteen rounds of meds to six.  SIX!  (insert happy dance here)   And, despite all the logistics of traveling, the wedding was beautiful and spending time with family meant a lot to all of us.  However, when it was time to fly home, I was feeling quite exhausted and understandably so.

IMG_6068

Since Mad Dog is an expert traveler, oftentimes he can upgrade me, sometimes more of us to first class.  It is usually the ‘first-class’ that is separated from coach by a tiny, half-attempt at a curtain and the main perk is getting served water first, but hey, the seats are bigger and I can’t complain.  But on our flight home after the wedding, I got upgraded to real first-class.

It was everything I dreamed of and more.

This is when I first met Judy.  She pampered me.  She gave me a warm, scented cloth for my hands, she constantly topped off my water and she did it all with genuine flair.  She even gave me chips and southwest dip!

Really, she had me at warm, scented hand cloth.

T.Puzzle and Full Speed got upgraded, too.  T.Puzzle sat next to me, Full Speed right in front of us, and poor Mad Dog got stuck in a middle seat back in coach.  While I did feel guilty about Mad Dog, my focus was quickly diverted by the swarm of snacks and amenities being showered upon me.

After a crazy week, ok, after a crazy year, I did my best to soak it all in.

About mid-way through the flight, T.Puzzle started to look not-so-good to me.  He was flushed and a bit squirmy.  My mother’s instinct went on high alert and I scanned him for symptoms.  He had eaten a big lunch and had been fine all day.  He said his stomach did not hurt but he had mucus in his throat.  It didn’t surprise me with all we had going on.  Since he said his stomach was fine, I chalked it up to fatigue and maybe coming down with a cold of some sort.

But, still, my internal alarm system kept thinking it could be more …

“Are you sure you don’t feel like you are going to throw up?”

“No,” T.Puzzle said.

I mean I can only ask the kid this question so many times.  Eventually, he got so tired, he laid his head down on my balled-up scarf and went to sleep.

Thirty minutes later he woke up vomiting like a poltergeist.

Who knew a small boy could create so much vomit?  It was like he was a prodigy of vomit production and since he caught us both by surprise, this cascade of vomit went EVERYWHERE.

This is the moment that solidified my BFF status with Judy.  Judy single-handedly got me and T.Puzzle through the rest of that flight.

Judy.

I love you.

Though we survived this flight which will forever be known as Vomit-Fest 2018, some of our carry-ons did not.  We had to toss a backpack and T.Puzzle’s shoes (they were a spare of Full Speed’s anyway).  The future of my suede jacket remains in the balance.  I don’t want to alarm you, but prepare yourself for the worst.

When we finally made it home, I Cloroxed everything I could within an inch of its life. I took a long, hot shower but still felt gross.

I may never feel whole again.

Life is funny like that.  It can hand you more vomit than you think you can manage but then the likes of someone like Judy will come to your rescue.

So no matter how dire your circumstances, hang in there.

The Judys of the world will find their way to you.

I strongly suggest not wearing suede until well after they arrive.

 

Here is the commendation I wrote to American Airlines to give my BFF the credit she so deserves:

 

Hello,

I am certain there are not enough superlatives to capture our flight attendant Judy’s level of service.

After an extremely stressful week in addition to traveling to Ohio for a wedding, my youngest son became ill on the flight home. He was asleep and caught us both off guard when he woke up vomiting.

It was horrible and messy as you might imagine, but Judy was with us every step of the way. She made do with the supplies on hand, kept us calm and gave both of us constant reassurance that all would be well. She told us it happens all the time and that a clean-up crew was on standby once we landed. She gave me gloves to help me clean the mess as best I could, helped me place newspapers over it and plastic bags to keep it contained and then she did all she could to comfort me and my son. She offered him water to swish out the sick and gave him a mint to suck on to help with the taste and settle his stomach. It was as if she was always one step ahead.

My son is doing much better today, but we both agree, we still feel a bit queasy over the extent of his vomiting yesterday.

Judy made something awful bearable. Her steady demeanor and non-judgmental attitude saved the day. Please extend to her our deepest gratitude.

My son would like to add in this: “Thank you for cleaning up all the puke I puked. It was really nice of you to do that even though it was gross and messy. I also really liked the candy you gave me to get the taste out of my mouth. You are a great flight attendant.”

Sincerely, WFAM and T.Puzzle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

children, family, humor, motherhood

Flights of Fancy

Recently, an unusual phenomenon occurred in our family.  I had two trips planned essentially back-to-back.  One was a solo trip meeting a friend at a yoga retreat (amazing!), and the other was an awesome work event for Mad Dog (also amazing!).  I was gone for four nights, home for two, then gone again for five nights.  I think the boys actually missed me.  I know I missed them.

That first morning when I was home for good, I was so happy to sit at the breakfast table with my guys.  I got to catch up on all I missed and hear about their time with Grandma and Grandpa (thank you!).  I, in turn, shared some of the cool things I got to see at the Arizona Biltmore and talk about the people I got to meet.  I talked about how fun it was to meet the spouses of Mad Dog’s work team.  I had so many people pull me aside to tell me how awesome Mad Dog is.  They told me how as a leader he requires a lot from them, but he is fair and always has their best interest at heart.  I was blown away by some of the ways he has positively impacted people.  As I shared this with the boys I said that not only were people pulling me aside to tell me how awesome Mad Dog is, they started telling me how awesome I am, too.

This completely perplexed T.Puzzle.

“Why?” he demanded to know.

And, just like that, I crashed back to earth.

It’s good to be home….I think.

family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Imagination Run Amok

When I picked up T.Puzzle after his first day back from spring break, his teacher immediately approached me as I entered the classroom.  I had to resist my fight or flight response.  Oh, how I wanted to run away.

She said, “We asked T.Puzzle what he did over break.  He told us he went to Africa.  Of course we didn’t think that was true.  We thought you would have certainly mentioned if you were traveling to Africa.  Then, he kept going with it.  When we asked him how he got there he said by plane.  What did you see there?  Giraffes and zebras.  Where did you stay?  He said he stayed at a hotel.”

Seems little mister had a whole array of imaginary African details.  He had his teachers and even the director of his school convinced for most of the day that we had gone to Africa.

For the record, we did not.

I am amused and frightened by this all at once.  Part of me is impressed a five year old could come up with such a believable, detailed story.  Part of me is very, very concerned.  Mostly I’m curious as to where we will ‘travel’ next.

T.Puzzle dressed as a lion for Halloween when he was a baby. Maybe his African dreams started then?
children, family, motherhood, parenting

Elevated

Mad Dog surprised us with a little family getaway to Amelia Island.  We packed a lot into our small trip and had an absolute blast.

As the Mom of two, gregarious boys, I realize that serene moments in travel will be few and far between.  The best line of defense is a good offense.  Therefore, it is all about movement.  Keep them active and all will be well.  If they are confined for too long they invariably turn on each other.  That’s when you know it’s time to move again.

That said, we thankfully managed some calm here and there.  However, there was a lot of sprinting on the hotel grounds.  As we left our room yesterday the boys, in typical fashion, sprinted ahead of us.  As we turned the corner to the elevators, they were nowhere to be found.

Guess who decided it would be awesome to ride the elevator to the lobby by themselves?  Thankfully, a kindly couple waited and watched over the boys until Mad Dog and I caught up to them.  The boys were so full of pride. At least someone was because I certainly wasn’t.  Embarrassed much?

After a stern talking to and a serious warning, we hope that parent-free elevator rides won’t become the norm.  Of course at some point I’m going to have to let them go by themselves.  It might be awkward if I follow them around their college dorm elevators.

Freedom is exhausting...
children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Forget and Forget

A Disney trip when the boys were younger. At least there were open spaces and lots of kid-geared activities making this 'vacation' quite fun.

I was on the phone with a friend and before our conversation turned to more serious matters we discussed an interesting facet of motherhood.  We are both amazed how quickly people who no longer have small children forget how hard it is to travel with them.  They have all sorts grandiose ideas about international trips that include the extended family or they talk of cruises that last for fourteen days (fourteen days!!).  What this would mean for parents with very young and/or very rambunctious children is entirely different than for a family or couple with older/calmer or completely grown children. 

The thought of being trapped on a boat for fourteen days, and I don’t care how big it is, with my boys is enough for me to shout, “Woman overboard!”  Imagining my friend traveling across oceans with her little clan of young kids makes my skin crawl with anxiety for her.  Essentially this ‘vacation’ would simply mean she would be responsible for all her regular motherhood duties with the added bonus that her kids would be jetlagged and out their minds without their routine or familiar surroundings.  Nothing international is worth this kind of stress.  Nothing.  Not even a George Clooney sighting in Italy would take the sting away.

So, the question is, how do people forget how hard it is?  And please, if you know, share how to do so with me immediately.