For some reason, Mad Dog is always in a hurry. I’m not sure why exactly. Is someone chasing him? Is he carrying top secret information and must never be caught?
Date night strolls often wind up with him ten paces ahead and me jogging to keep up. Yeah, it’s as romantic as it sounds.
Even when we are home, his pace is quick. It is best to steer clear as his rushes through his to-do list. In all of this heightened speed, he relies on repetition and memory to navigate the space around him. If something is an inch or two ‘off’, he inevitably runs into it. And not in a delicate way, but in a full-on injury-inducing way.
Does this slow him down?
Does it make him scan his surroundings before attacking his day?
Of course not!
He does enjoy deflecting the cause of his injuries. He jokingly (and sometimes not-so-jokingly) blames me. He wants to know why I keep moving things(!). He ‘moves with precision’ (exact quote thank you very much) and if I move something even a tiny bit, he is bound to run into it.
Okay, okay, I’ll give you the drying rack over the laundry room door (I mean, it’s kind of awesome that he even goes in there let alone actually does laundry, so kudos for that). It is possible someone in our house inadvertently shifted it and therefore when Mad Dog nearly punctured a lung on it, I could understand I might be to blame. And, then there was my yoga mat. I had moved it to the side in our bedroom, but knowing Mad Dog in the way I do, I should have moved it about three more miles out of the way to ensure his safety.
He claims I move furniture. Not ottoman type things, but anchor pieces like couches, beds, and cabinets. Yes, cabinets! I absolutely take down cabinets and move them one inch over just to mess with him. Honestly, I should have my own show on HGTV.
And I’m certain my three times a week of Jazzercise, I mean I use 8 lbs. weights after all, in addition to my at-home yoga practice, certainly has afforded me the necessary upper body strength to move giant pieces of furniture all by myself. Maybe bodybuilding has been my long lost calling?
So many dreams to consider.
These will have to wait until I finish moving Mad Dog’s office desk.
Trust me, I always remember to lift with my knees and not my back.