children, gratitude, mommyhood

The Purple Belt

Ah, the week of weaponry and mommyhood angst has drawn to a close. During this time I have felt as if Full Speed and Mad Dog were living in an alternate universe. A place where a sword weilding five year old is ‘awesome!’ and where high kicks, angry yells and mean faces are ‘cool!’. Frankly, I’d much rather be at a quiet spa sipping a super-girlie drink instead of dodging flying nunchuks but what can I say?

An alternate universe ain’t so bad if the likes of T.Puzzle, Full Speed and Mad Dog are in it.

Full Speed showing off his bow staff skills at the weapons graduation.
Mad Dog and I help tie Full Speed’s newly earned purple belt.

Way to go Full Speed!!

bad day, mommyhood, potty training

‘Nuff Said

My day started with little T.Puzzle absolutely refusing to wear a protective cape at his haircut. He kept yanking and yelling. The poor stylist was ready to go toe to toe with him. I told her to let it go and we’d deal with the hair fall-out later. She had no idea what she was up against.

Then, as we are seated waiting for Full Speed to finish weapons camp little T.Puzzle looks at me and declares, “I have to pee-pee.” This turned out to be a teachable moment. He in fact was in the process of peeing everywhere when he made this announcement.

“No, little T.Puzzle, you meant to say ‘Look at me everyone, I am peeing all over my chair, the walls, the floor and let’s not forget my shoes.” Okay, so I didn’t really say that but man, was I frustrated.

The lady sitting next to me says, “Looks like he was really saving up.”

Um, yeah.

I look in her direction and say, “I’ve got extra clothes in the truck.” I was kind of hoping that she would help out in some way. I mean I didn’t expect her to wipe up the pee, but maybe offer to go grab the clothes, or offer to watch little Frick while I ran to the truck? Or something? Anything? Anyone?

Nope. She looked at me like I was crazy with a ‘k’.


Suddenly, out of nowhere another mom swoops in with paper towels at the ready. She hands me towel after towel until the initial mess is somewhat controlled. She offers to care for the garbage and sends me to the truck with little T.Puzzle.  I get him cleaned-up and changed and when I return to the scene of the crime, she already has some cleaner on hand so I can properly disinfect the area.

And you know what? She didn’t think I was crazy one bit.

And you know why? She has three boys.

‘Nuff said.

children, mommyhood

Weapons are Good (Really!)

Full Speed actually said he WANTED to go to bed last night. Mad Dog and I were speechless. He never wants to go to bed so his request was highly unusual. Apparently the rigors of weapons camp are making him extremely tired.

Sleep tight, Full Speed!

I may learn to love weapons camp after all…

children, humor

Nunchuks, Swords and Knives, Oh My!

Little T.Puzzle and I went to pick up Full Speed from weapons camp. When the instructor declared ‘time’s-up!’ for the day, the gaggle of students bowed off the mat and descended upon their lined up bags of equipment. The tae kwon do studio is not that large and combined with the noisy, busy bunch of kids, I was feeling quickly overwhelmed. I tend to get nauseous and highly uncomfortable in tight spaces with big crowds. I did my best to keep my cool and maneuver little T.Puzzle to the side with the bags to meet up with Full Speed. Naturally, as my internal stress rose, this is when little T.Puzzle starts to act up.

“Look where you’re going!” I barked. Little T.Puzzle was careening about on the verge of flopping into the wet noodle formation.

“Watch your feet and don’t step on that sword!” I said.

That’s when I had an out of body moment. Not once in my motherhood imaginings did I ever dream I would tell my three year old to watch out for swords. Baseballs maybe. Swords, I don’t think so.

Can’t wait until Mad Dog signs Full Speed up for machine gun class.