children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Count Me Out

Full Speed has a tendency to wake up angry. He naturally channels this anger at his brother which often culminates in physical violence. Full Speed was feeling extra saucy this morning and released a flurry of kicks and punches upon his brother. When it came time to brush teeth Full Speed had managed to stop the physical attacks (thanks to some threats and coaching from Mom). Instead, he attempted to keep his little brother intimidated by striking a menacing pose topped off with a fierce grimace. After being mostly whiny (and who can blame him?) T.Puzzle had enough and finally fought back landing a blow squarely on Full Speed’s stomach. At this point I didn’t care who started it, who kept it going or whatever.

“Guys, knock it off. The next person that hits or kicks their brother is getting their first strike of the day. You know the rule, hands and feet to yourselves while we brush teeth.”

Full Speed denied any culpability and surprisingly didn’t throw T.Puzzle under the bus, “Mom, T.Puzzle used his elbow so it doesn’t count.”

That’s when Mom started to count to keep her own aggression at bay.

I ended up counting to a million and seven.

2 thoughts on “Count Me Out”

  1. “I ended up counting to a million and seven.” Hilarious. And sadly, all too true. My middle kid wakes up angry a lot. I’ve actually put her in time out before even having a chance to say, “good morning.” Maybe I’ll try counting to a million and seven next time.

    1. If only counting to high numbers would solve our parenting issues. I’d count all day long if it did!

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