motherhood

MJ Forever

I grew up in a house with Chicago sports playing in the background.  Watching sports was my mother’s passion.  I quickly learned if I wanted to spend time with her, watching whatever team was on T.V. was my in.

Obviously, my love of baseball and the Cubs came from her.  Some sports, no matter how much I loved her, I could not bring myself to watch (sorry Illini football).  But some, filled my heart with glee.

Enter the era of MJ.

Michael Jordan was like no other.  I could have watched him for days.

I was lucky enough to see him play in person when the Bulls were in their heyday.

The electricity, the showmanship, the roar of the crowd … all part of the extraordinary magic of this time in sports history.

I think Jordan and the Bulls ruined me forever.  Since that time, I cannot bring myself to invest in watching another NBA team.

Yet,

I do understand the value of a shared experience with the people you love.  Therefore, I kept a minimally open mind as we attended a Dallas Mavericks game at the American Airlines Center.

My expectations were low and initially, my attention wandered … a lot.

The first quarter showed a little flair, but the second and third saw the Mavs dropping well behind the Trail Blazers.

It wasn’t pretty.

Somehow, led by the spark of Luka Doncic, the Mavs came back to life in the fourth quarter ending the game in a spectacular fashion.

Luka Doncic and Damian Lillard duel in Mavericks’ win vs. Trail Blazers | NBA Highlights

Maybe the Mavs and Luka were trying to win me over.

Maybe it kind of worked.

Maybe all that really mattered were the smiles of victory on my boys’ faces.

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Bet my Mom would have loved every minute.

 

motherhood

The Way of Dreams

I am finally sitting down to write this week’s post.  Not having it completed has messed dearly with my ‘Type A’ tendencies.  When I committed to writing a weekly post, I was all in.  Still am.

Yet, life keeps getting in my way.

Over the weekend I began a Mindfulness Certification Training.  The first two days consisted of 14 hours of instruction, demonstrations and exercises.  I then will be taking class twice a week in the evenings and will end with another full weekend.

The good news is, I absolutely love it.  That bad news is, I now understand why wives, mothers and women in general sometimes push their goals farther and farther off into the distance.

I am learning there is never the ‘right’ time, there is only now.

It’s okay to feel bad about not getting everything done in the way you want.  It’s not okay to pretend those feelings don’t exist.

I am choosing to make peace with wishing I could do it all and make it look easy.  Sometimes pursuing our dreams is inconvenient, but if you are pursuing the dream that is truly authentic to you, the joy it brings will carry you through.  And, you can still be a worry-wart, Type A Mama while doing so.

Dreams don’t judge.

Dreams are just happy you showed up (finally!).

Shortcomings, messy house and all.

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children, motherhood, parenting

Winning to Me

Full Speed had a respectable seventh place finish out of thirty-seven at his school’s bee.  The difference between him participating as a fifth grader and now is unbelievable.  He used to be the smallest, now he is among the tallest.  His voice, the depth of which I found unsettling, held steady as he spouted off each letter.

I no longer saw a boy on that stage.  In his place stood a confident young man.

Leading up to the competition, T.Puzzle and I continued a lively debate.  He believes a person is awesome only if they are winning.  I still hold that awesomeness is static.  Sometimes that expresses as external achievement, but mostly it is comprised of intangibles.  I do not fault T.Puzzle for his perspective.  Our culture exalts individual, external success.  Winning makes sense to him.  I get that.

Maybe Full Speed did not technically win the spelling bee, but from my view he demonstrated what it means to succeed.  He had the nerve to get up on that stage and compete with all eyes of the auditorium zeroed in on him.

I couldn’t do that.

I probably wouldn’t even be able to spell my name right in that situation.

When it was all said and done, he bounced back quickly.  He did not entertain the notion that misspelling a word defines him a person.

That feels like winning to me.

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children, motherhood

How Do You Spell Unforgettable?

This afternoon Full Speed will participate in his school-wide spelling bee.  He beat out over 140 students to earn this spot.  I asked him if he remembered the speech I gave him before his spelling bee when he was in fifth grade.

“Nope.”

I turned my attention towards T.Puzzle.  “I gave you the same speech before your fifth grade spelling bee.  Do you remember?”

“Nope.”

“Wow,” I said.  “I really am making such a lasting impact on both of you, aren’t I?”

“Well, we both did win,” Full Speed said.

“Good point.  Maybe I know what I am talking about after all.”

Here is that unforgettable(?) speech:

“I want you to remember that you are awesome.  The amount of awesome you have inside you is static.  That means it doesn’t change.  There is nothing you can or can’t do to change this fact.  At the beginning of the spelling bee you will be awesome.  At the end of the spelling bee you will be awesome.  And during the middle, you will still be equally awesome.  Winning or losing can’t change your awesome-ness.  If you wonder how I know this it’s because when you were a baby and I held you in my arms for the very first time I loved you instantly.  I kind of already loved you before I even knew you.  Why?  It wasn’t because I thought to myself, ‘someday this kid is going to be great at spelling.’  No, it was because you were awesome.  You were then, you are now and you always will be.”

You can read the entire, memorable(?) post here:

The Story of a girl and Her First Little Buckeye

Stay tuned to learn Full Speed’s spelling fate.