family, humor, kids, motherhood

For the Love of Cookies

The rain poured down as I exited the campus building.  I dodged raindrops as I made my way to my car on this last night of my creative writing class.

Where we live is prone to standing water which can turn to a flood in an instant.  Since class had run late, I texted Mad Dog to assure him I would be home soon.

He responded: “All your boys waiting for you.”

Wasn’t that sweet?

I arrived home fifteen minutes later.  As soon as I walked in, the scent of freshly baked cookies washed over me.  Mad Dog had ordered cookies to be delivered for all of us to enjoy.

The boys were not waiting for me.  They were waiting to eat cookies because Mad Dog would not allow it until I came home.

Even Full Speed admitted it was a 60/40 situation.  60% waiting to eat the cookies vs. 40% waiting for me.

Hurt pride did not prevent me from enjoying my cookies.  I mean if you are going to come in second to something, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies aren’t a bad way to go.

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humor, motherhood

Victory

Full Speed clunked his way through the school library doors.  The past couple days tested him.  A cold slowed his usual enthusiasm for life and by the looks of him, I knew his day drained what little energy he had left.  He sat in silence while I finished up my volunteer tasks.  Once T.Puzzle arrived, we made our way to the car.

I asked Full Speed point-blank, “What did you have for lunch?”

He said, “Nothing.”

Nothing!  Alarm bells rang loud and clear in my head.  He passed on breakfast and instead of forcing the issue, I made him promise to eat something at lunch.

Once lunchtime arrived, his appetite would reappear.  I counted on that and said as much to him.

To hear him say he ate nothing all day seemed unacceptable.

“You.  Are eating dinner.  No negotiation.  Understand me?” I said.

He nodded in defeat.

Later, at the dinner table as T.Puzzle described his luncheon with the principal (as an honor, not a punishment, thank goodness!), something in the way Full Speed’s eyes twinkled, made me question if he skipped lunch.

“Full Speed, did you really not eat lunch?” I said.

Silence.

“Full Speed?”

No answer.

“Alright, I guess I’ll just look it up on your lunch account and find out for myself.”

“Yes!  I had lunch!  Okay?” he said.

“Why would you lie about that?” I said.

“Because then I would have to admit you were right.  My appetite did come back and I was hungry.  I already had two days of feeling sick.  I couldn’t admit that my mom was right and I was wrong on top of that!”

Like a lunch after hours of not eating, victory never tasted so sweet.

 

Victory

inspiration, motherhood

I Remember You

IMG_0999My phone was switched to silent.  As I clacked away at my computer, I happened to glance in its direction right when a call came in.

I answered immediately and heard the phrase every moms dreads:

“Hello, this is the Clinic….”

Turns out, T.Puzzle had chills, a fever and a headache.

I grabbed my keys and was out the door.

Normally, in this situation, my life freezes in place.  Any plans are immediately tossed aside.

This is no longer true.

Even though T.Puzzle came home early AND missed the next day of school, I attended my creative writing class (held at night), did yoga and went to a hair appointment.

It was as if I was a real human being living an actual life.

If you are a mom and feel complete overwhelm at the loss of your freedom, I am here to tell you it does return.

Until then, be kind to yourself and please, ask for help.

I haven’t forgotten that you were a person before you had children.

Do your best to hold on to her.

She’s worth the wait.

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Chicago Cubs, motherhood

I’m Game

For some reason, turning 44 this week feels auspicious.

Maybe it’s because it’s my favorite baseball player’s number.

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Whatever the reason, I am ready for the new year and feel like whatever comes my way will change me for the better.

I thought getting older would mean I would relax on a plateau of wisdom.  As if each birthday was a step closer to the truth about life.

Quite the opposite actually.

I have more questions than ever before.

Through the uncertainty, a few things remain constant.

The first being is once you have something figured out, guaranteed, it will shift until you no longer recognize it.

The second being the unconditional love I have for my boys.  Trust me, this love gets tested more as they grow older (I’m looking at you, Full Speed!), but I am always grateful it is right below the surface.

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The third and final constant is how comfortable you are with the unknown is proportional to how content you are with life overall.  I certainly do not have this mastered.  I prefer patterns and certainty.

Sometimes boring feels like a balm to the soul.

I hope my 44th year brings new friends, new adventures and lots of predictable days ahead.

Either way I’m game.

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children, family, motherhood

Reset

Unfortunately, as our children grow towards adulthood, life starts handing them more complex challenges.  Gone are the days of kindergarten-fixes which were mostly comprised of a few snuggles and a chocolate chip cookie.

It isn’t all bad.

The best part is watching our children’s personalities solidify into more of who-they-are.  They get to start defining more what matters to them.

Weirdly, that doesn’t always align with what mom and dad deem important.

As I continue to let my boys go off into the world to discover what is most true for them, I must go and do the same for myself.

Mothers and caregivers tend to take a giant pause in their life when it comes to raising a family.  This pause becomes so second-nature, we often don’t realize when it’s time to hit the reset button.

We are not meant to figure everything out in one day.

In fact, I believe we never figure everything out completely.

Life moves forward for a reason.  Sometimes it makes sense and sometimes it doesn’t.

Either way it’s moving.

We can either join in or sit back.  Maybe both?

Even if we don’t make every right turn, the fact that we are on the journey is bound to lead us somewhere wonderful.

Especially if where we’ve been has already shown us such great love.

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