humor, kids, motherhood

There’s a Reason Drama Rhymes with Mama

I am kind of a mess right now.  If you ran into me on the street, I still appear normal on the outside, but inside me swims the anxiety and tension of moving my family to a new state.  This is all a normal part of the experience.

What isn’t normal is that my boys are not really freaking out.  I mean, aren’t they supposed to be freaking out?

Here’s a recent conversation I had with them:

“Are you nervous about going to a new school?” I said.

Both said, “No.”

“Are you worried you won’t make new friends?” I said.

Both said, “No.”

“Are you concerned that you won’t be academically prepared when school starts?”

Both said, “No.”

Can you spot the pattern here?

Maybe instead I should ask, “Are you worried your mom is going to ask you so many questions about whether or not you are worried that you may tune her out completely?”

(crickets chirping)

Thank you to the stars above for giving me two, level-headed sons that tolerate my dramatic inquiries and love me anyway.

Fewer questions equal less drama.

No guarantees.

 

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family, humor, kids, motherhood

Delegate, Delegate, Delegate

Through the years, as a mom, I learned when a task begins to feel mind-numbingly unbearable, there was good reason.  Sure, we all have to do things we don’t like in regards to maintaining a home and a life, but when I feel an overwhelming loathing towards an activity, it’s time to examine it.  Usually it’s because this activity should not solely be my responsibility and it’s time to share the love.  For example, I got to the point of hating to tie my boys’ shoes.  Thanks to velcro, this took them what seemed like forever to successfully master (to be honest, the jury’s still out on T.Puzzle).  When my discomfort over tying their shoes outweighed the time and patience it would take to help them master it, the cloud lifted.  I had to let go of perfectly tied knots and then I was free, well, at least from tying shoes.

There are many tasks like this and when I get super-annoyed by shouldering the brunt of them, I reach out for help.  Again, I have to let go of perfection and savor the relief I feel at the help I am offered.  Thankfully, all my boys are willing to pitch in and keep their grumbling to themselves (again, jury’s still out on T.Puzzle).  So, I didn’t think twice when I asked Mad Dog to help me straighten up our main floor.  He quickly agreed and then shouted, “Boys!  Come straighten up down here!”

I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Oh no, you are not going to delegate!  Don’t you dare!  I want it to look nice!”

Soon, the boys were in the living room folding blankets and picking up dog toys.

Mad Dog lounged in his chair ‘supervising’.

The boys were on to him.

“How come we have to do what Mom asks you to do?” Full Speed said.

“It’s called leadership.  By delegating tasks, all get accomplished.  It gives you the opportunity for growth and the joy of achievement,” Mad Dog replied.

“So basically you give us all your chores, but you take credit for them?”

That’s called leadership, folks.

You’re welcome.

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children, family, kids, motherhood

Everything Changes

Some journeys are lengthy and take time to unfold.  Last year, around mid-February, Mad Dog shared with me that his job could change.  This change would mean we would relocate to Texas.  Mostly, I handled this possibility with an open mind (mostly).  I expressed to Mad Dog that I was absolutely willing to move our family to support him in his career.

Done deal.

Then, some weeks passed, then some months.  Months turned into a year and yet, a move did not materialize.

While I was open-minded to moving, I handled the uncertainty surrounding it with much less aplomb.

Eventually, I gave up.  I stopped looking at houses, stopped discussing a Texan future and focused on staying put.

I have learned enough to know that home is not a location.  Home is about the life, love and adventure you create wherever you are.  

Naturally, once I let go of the outcome, this is when we finally found out that Mad Dog was promoted and everything changes.

We both agree it is surreal to finally have closure.  After well over a year of not-knowing, not-knowing becomes your comfort zone.  Knowing feels strange.

Now we know.

Texas here we come!

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Both boys are hoping since ‘everything is bigger in Texas’ they will immediately grow several inches taller.  We all have dreams, right?

 

children, humor, kids, motherhood

No Filter? No Problem.

I’m thinking of expanding my horizons to television.  I am currently working on a proposal for a Netflix docuseries:

Living with a Filter-less Child:  How Words can Hurt Us Sometimes

It’s a real thing.

A kid that has no filter.

I know.

I live with one.

Mine at least has dimples, thank god.

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But, in all seriousness, I digress.  As T.Puzzle has matured, he does realize that sharing every thought and opinion isn’t necessary.

Progress.

I have lots of discussions with him about it.  For instance, on the way to a friend’s house, I had to go over different scenarios with him for practice.

“Ok, say you end up staying for lunch.  And, maybe, just maybe, what is offered to you isn’t your favorite…what do you say?”

He was quiet for a moment,

“Thank you……

for making me suffer.”

So close.

I won’t even tell you what he planned to do with his dishes once he was done eating.

 

 

children, humor, kids, motherhood

Mighty Popcorn Containers (This Means YOU)

Dear Reader,

You are the frosting on my cupcake.

You are the popcorn container around my popcorn.

You put the sprinkles on my doughnut.

Ok, so maybe I had some serious writer’s block today.  And, maybe, just maybe, I stole these exact words from T.Puzzle’s Mother’s Day creation:

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Now, go forth and contain the popcorn of the world!