family, humor, kids, motherhood

The Yeti

Full Speed and I were returning from our nearby Chinese restaurant with takeout in tow.  We were having a serious discussion about appreciating diverse perspectives in life.  I wanted to reiterate to him the goal isn’t having everyone agree (impossible!), but rather respecting others’ viewpoints.  If we keep an open mind, we might learn something.

He agreed wholeheartedly.  He thought a world of sameness would be boring.

Then, he went on to talk about the merits of differences.  He said, “Take for example you and Dad.  If you both were the same, we’d never leave the house.”

What?!?

Maybe it didn’t help this was the first time I had ever been to the aforementioned Chinese restaurant.  It had been open for months.  I relied on Mad Dog to get the takeout each Sunday evening as part of tradition.  You can pretty much guarantee I was waiting at home already in my pajamas.  The cashier and other workers were astonished at my presence.  Where was my husband?

It’s possible in my homebody glory, I may overdo it.  However, I step up when Mad Dog travels and I said as much to Full Speed.

“That’s true, Mom.  You at least have to go out and get groceries.”

I replied rather sheepishly, “Not really.  You know I’d just have them delivered!”

Then, it dawned on me.  I’m like the Yeti.

Mysterious and elusive.

Try and catch me.

 

The Yeti

family, humor, motherhood

Democracy in Action

Every family has a structure of ‘power’ so to speak.  It’s a dance between allowing everyone to have their say and getting individual needs met.  Let’s say you are on a 15 hour road trip one way (true story), and it comes time to decide where and when you might make a pit stop.  Each member of the family is allowed input and then a family vote is taken.

Voting System Breakdown

(should be noted this is Mad Dog’s creation):

As an adult and as a child over the age of twelve, myself and Full Speed are afforded one vote respectively.

Full Speed = 1

Mom = 1

Got it so far?  It seems straightforward but gets infinitely more complex as the process continues.

T.Puzzle gets a half vote since he is under twelve.  However, if he agrees with Mad Dog he gets a full vote.

T.Puzzle = 1/2 vote, bumps to 1 vote when he aligns with Mad Dog.

Mad Dog gets three votes.

Mad Dog = 3 votes

Yes, you read that right… three votes!

In the rare event that T.Puzzle’s half vote slips under the radar and a tie ensues, Mad Dog automatically becomes the tiebreaker.

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”

-Sun Tzu

Game over, Mad Dog.

Game over.

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We all voted and yes, Mad Dog makes us laugh… a lot!
children, family, humor, kids, motherhood

How Do You Spell Amazing?

As a mom I wear many hats.  Personally, my favorite is a Cubs baseball cap, but here are a few others that I inhabit:

– Chinese leftover reheater

-Dog walker and trainer (the latter may be easily disproved in a court of law or more likely, upon meeting our wildly energetic adopted dog, let’s just say, girl gets by on her looks…a lot).

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-Extremely empathetic validator of the universe’s feelings

-Housekeeper

-Wife extraordinaire

-Friend, mother, writer, sister ….and the list goes on and on.

Now the hat that many don’t know about and that I keep a closely guarded secret is…

-Spelling bee prep consultant

I have a track record of helping one young man place second in the whole county….

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Cool trophy, right?

Anyway, given my illustrious track record, it only makes sense now that this young man’s  brother is going to compete at his school’s spelling bee, he would reach out to an elite spelling instructor such as myself.  So, that’s where we are at.  I am now helping T.Puzzle prepare for his grade school spelling bee.  Truly, the only special skills I am bringing to the table are the ability to read words from a list (out loud, no less!) and patience.  I don’t mind the sometimes repetitive process as long as my spelling padawan is focused.  So far, T.Puzzle has that in spades.  Here is a recent example of the elite-type of training that I offer.

Me: “Icelandic”

T.Puzzle: “I-C-E-L-A-N-D-I-C”

Me: “Correct” (as in, he is correct, not please spell correct, I think you get the idea, so let’s move on to a word in which more elite spelling instructing is needed for clarification)

Me: “Pesky”

T.Puzzle:  “Use it in a sentence, please.” (he didn’t really say please, I just added it in for my own creative spin as moms-who-love-manners are wont to do)

Me: “Little brothers are pesky to their older brothers.” (see what I did there?  I made it relatable to my subject…genius).

T.Puzzle:  “P-E-S-K-Y”

Me: “Correct”

Me: “Annoying”

T.Puzzle: “F-U-L-L  S-P-E-E-D”

Apparently, I have my work cut out for me.

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Good luck, T.Puzzle!

 

children, dogs, family, humor, motherhood

The Secret Plan

I’m about to share with you a highly effective yet secret way you can stalk look-out for your seventh grader.  It’s so top-secret that if your name is Full Speed, you must immediately stop reading this and step away from this blog post.  I’m totally serious.  You do not have a high enough security level clearance, and more importantly, you would be on to me.  Walk away, Full Speed.  Walk away.

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Full Speed walking one of our highly-trained extremely adorable dogs

Part one of my secret plan is that you have to get a dog well in advance of your middle-schooler having to take the bus to school.  I’m talking maybe a decade or so in advance.  Trust me, this will help you seem credible when the chips are down.  After you have secured your status as a dog owner, you have to start walking them religiously to the point you become well-known in your neighborhood as the ‘dog lady’ which, let’s hope, references your dog ownership and NOT your appearance.  Anyway, you have to walk the same route day after day.  You must casually interact with all the middle schoolers who hang out at the bus stop at the end of your subdivision.  This part is actually pretty awesome because you get to bring some levity to their day and your dog will love the attention.  If you want to be extra sneaky, get TWO dogs.  I’m telling you, middle schoolers will love you for it.  The more fluffy appreciation they receive to start their day, the more you fit in under the radar.

Once you have this routine solidly on lock-down, then it seems completely normal for you to check-in on your own kid when the time arrives for him to join in the morning band of middle-schoolers.  Again, it’s awesome to have your dogs bring so much happiness especially now that your own kid is included in the bunch.  See?  Stealth stalking  supervision complete!

And, I will neither confirm or deny at this point because my plan is working so beautifully, but it’s possible my fluffy companions are robotic stunt dogs.

Whatever it takes.  Do whatever it takes.

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dogs, family, motherhood

Does Awesome Have a Limit?

It was Father’s Day 2017 and we were seated outside Mad Dog’s favorite neighborhood restaurant.  The discussion turned mildly serious as we contemplated the on-going possibility of adding another dog to our home.  Mad Dog was insisting we had to get a puppy (says the man who doesn’t have to train the puppy!).  I stood my ground and was still pulling for a rescue dog.  However, the rescue option hadn’t been going very well.  The dogs were either too far away or were already adopted before we had a chance to blink.  I was starting to lose hope in fulfilling my dream of rescuing a dog.  I explained to my three guys that whatever dog we may find, this dog had to be something special.  This dog had to live up to the high standards set by our White Fluffy Dog that passed away last summer.  This seemed like a mighty tall order.

The next night as I was laying in bed feeling rather hopeless that a second dog was out there for us, a thought struck me.  Maybe in a lifetime we are only afforded a certain amount of awesome.  I mean I have an incredible husband, two amazing kids and still had the good fortune of having our Little Guy shih tzu around.  And, don’t get me started about our White Fluffy Dog, I could go on about her for days.  She was such a rescuer and always ran towards hurt and sadness, never away.  She was always, always there for me.  Thinking back about all the ways she loved me and my family, I thought maybe I’m being selfish. Who gets to have so much, even if it is just the memory of awesome, and expect more?

In my heart I said a prayer.  I directed it to our White Fluffy Dog but honestly, I don’t know who or what else may have been listening.  I simply said, “If I have reached my limit of awesome, I understand.  I am so grateful for all that I have, all you have given me and if there is that right dog out there for us, please send them our way.  Otherwise, I will make peace with life exactly as it is.  I trust you know what is best for me and our family and I let it go.  I’m letting the whole thing go.”  My heart felt heavy with sadness while I thought these words.  Still, underneath that heaviness, the swirling of gratitude I had accessed was a comfort.  I very much wanted another dog, but knew I would be okay if we didn’t ever find one.

That was Monday night.  Wednesday morning an alert popped up in my email for a dog that matched a description I had set up in an information base.  She was four, she was fluffy(!) and she was potty-trained.  She also happened to be fostered in the town right next door!  She seemed too good to be true.

I immediately set to work filling out an adoption application for her.  I felt hopeful, but I was cautious.  A dog this special was certain to generate a ton of interest and applications.  I hit send on the application and once again, let it go.

The next day I got a call asking if we were available to meet this wonder dog.  By Saturday we arranged a meeting with her and as soon as we met, we knew she was ours.

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This new girl is so much like our White Fluffy Dog in so many ways and she is so different.

All I know is that she is home, life is good and awesome has no limit.

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