Category: mommy cliques

gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, life in pictures, marriage, mommy cliques, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self care (or lack thereof), self-discovery

Happy 2011, Everyone!

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Resolutions for 2011 are as follows–

T.Puzzle: To be Superman when I grow up!

That’s super, man.

Full Speed:  I promise to be the bestest boy in all the land.

Considering his initial behavior at our New Year’s lunch out by the ocean, this goal may be slightly on the lofty side.

Mad Dog:  To get fit and have more patience with my boys.

First of all, I think he looks fantastic as is and secondly, I’m thinking he wanted to add ‘and more patience with my wife’.  Since he was speaking this goal directly to me, he was wise to leave that part out.

Me:  To have more gratitude for what I already have.

Case in point...

That’s the great thing about motherhood, it gives you many reasons to be grateful.  I’m serious, mostly…, and no, I haven’t fallen and hit my head (at least not badly).

These are some of the lessons I learned throughout 2010.

1.  No matter how much you dream it or wish it, you are not in control of your life or your children.  It seems the more I try to micromanage Full Speed’s and T.Puzzle’s behavior, the more likely I am to fail and be miserable in the process.   Sometimes you have to let go and let them be who they are, even if that means they act wild sometimes, forget their manners and generally drive you and your spouse nuts.

2. On good days, motherhood is about the balance between caring for the needs of your kids and caring for your own needs.  On bad days, motherhood is about survival.  All you can do is survive until your children’s bedtime, chalk it up to a bad day and start the adventure anew the next day.

3.  When the bad stuff happens, it’s your best opportunity to learn.

4.  I am extremely lucky to have someone like Mad Dog as my children’s father.  Kids love to emulate what they see, and fortunately for me, this means they see love, respect and generosity as a way of life.

Full Speed puts his hands in his pockets just like Mad Dog on our day at the zoo.

5.  Frustration doesn’t get you very far.  Acceptance, an action plan and forgiveness go a whole lot further in this world.

6.  Having kids allows you to remember your own sense of fun.  It’s also a great excuse to wear silly hats when you ring in the new year.

Happy New Year, Everyone!
children, gratitude, happiness, humor, life in pictures, mommy cliques, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Trees

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Mad Dog and I had a date night planned so we could Christmas shop for the boys.  While at Super Target, Mad Dog lobbied for a miniature version of our Christmas tree for the boys’ room.

Full Speed and T.Puzzle were fast asleep when we returned home.  Mad Dog silently placed the small tree in their room. We tiptoed out and anxiously anticipated a big reaction once the tree was discovered in the morning.

They boys were dazzled.

There was much animated discussion on how the tree came to be in their room.  The idea that made the most sense were elves of course.

Later that morning T.Puzzle tried to explain to his teacher about the mysterious tree.

“Who do you think put it there?” she asked.

“I think it was robbers,” he suggested his eyes wide with certainty.

I love a good thief.  Not only did this ‘thief’ not steal a single item from our home, he or she left it beautifully decorated.

I guess crime does pay.

children, mommy cliques, mommyhood, terrible twos

I Should Have Stayed Home

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This is the dilemma. Do you wait until your child can properly behave themselves in public (which could take years) to venture from your home or do you never, ever leave your house? This has been my plight since Full Speed was aggressively mobile (at about seven months of age). I have always been on the side of pushing forward and attempting to be social and expose my boys to world experiences. However, when I’m in the middle of one such experience, I often wish I had just stayed home.

I took T.Puzzle to the library for story time this morning. In the past I’ve had both boys with me and the result was often disastrous. I hoped that since I was playing him man-to-man, it would be tolerable and holding out all hope, enjoyable.
Your Frick can Read

Summer is the last time I went to story time at the library. The memories of social hierarchy come back to me in a rush as soon as the first clique-ish group of Moms walk through the door. My stomach does an unpleasant back flip as I realize that high school is never really over. I hate clique-y Moms. I’ve been a Mom long enough now that I don’t even pretend to try to talk to them. Life is easier that way.

T.Puzzle is hyper (I know, it’s like saying T.Puzzle is breathing). I think he senses that the more embarrassing he acts, the more anxiety it produces in his Mom. He must think that’s cool because he is very out of control. At one point he begins to make spitting noises. I lean down and say, “You spit again and we leave.” Story time was not going well.

He was not acting like himself. He was kind of clingy, wasn’t dancing or clapping (which at home is totally his thing) and he kept telling me to stop singing (which was getting on my last nerve). He looks at me thoughtfully and spits. He clearly wants to leave. He even tugs on my shirt and confesses, “I spit, Mommy. I go home.”

Another dilemma. I am always extremely conscious about what I say to the boys. If a threat escapes my lips, I am fully prepared to back it up. I want my words to have weight. I want them to know when I speak, it’s the truth and that I am consistent. If they don’t learn to respect my words now, what am I going to do when they are fifteen and seventeen respectively and are a head taller than me (fingers crossed Full Speed) and weigh more than me (fingers crossed me!)?

Ultimately, we didn’t go home. I felt T.Puzzle was playing the system and being sneaky to get what he wanted. We plundered through the remaining five minutes of songs and stories. This whole time I imagine staying in our house this morning might have been the right choice.

However, that’s not how I roll. You can defy me, you can act a fool and you can spit at me, but dammit, we are getting out there and we are going to live life. Some Moms may pretend we don’t exist, and yet other Moms will feel validated that they aren’t the only ones with devilish offspring. It matters not. We will always leave the safety (and boredom) of our house and someday, I hope manners and good grace find us. Until then, have compassion if you see us in public. I apologize in advance.