Chicago Cubs, children, humor, kids, motherhood

No Lie


T.Puzzle has to write a speech to be performed in front of his class.   Thankfully, like his brother before him, he is fairly at ease with public speaking so this is not the challenge.  The challenge is coming up with a topic.  No lie, these are the highlights from the actual list we generated.  The ones in bold are my ideas, the ones in italics are T.Puzzle’s:

  •  Adopting our rescue dog
  • T.Puzzle’s first visit to Wrigley Field
  • The Olympics, I only like events where crashing happens
  • The Making of a Lego World
  • Cows, observe the cows
  • How to be a smart mouth to your mother and how this leads to success (or not, most definitely, not!)
  • Food
  • Cheeseburgers: why are you so delicious?
  • Origins of Fortune Cookies and the top five I would create: #1. Alive today, dead tomorrow 
  • This last one is all Full Speed’s idea: The challenges of having an older brother who is a track star

Like you, I am on the edge of my seat waiting for how this all unfolds.

humor, kids, motherhood

On Track for Stardom (Part Two)



In our house, along with running (get it?) jokes about Full Speed’s dynamic track prospects, T.Puzzle is known to regularly shoot barbs at Full Speed.  While these jabs are humorous and a natural part of any sibling relationship, sometimes, it’s too much.  This is where Mad Dog or myself step in and talk to him about being respectful and all the other parent-y things one says in this situation.  So, when Mad Dog and Full Speed returned from another track meet, I put the kibosh on T.Puzzle’s comments.  We were about to watch a video of Full Speed’s 4×800 and I didn’t want any disrespectful comments flying about.  Full Speed is trying and that’s all we should focus on.

That is, until I couldn’t.

As I watched Full Speed lope around the bend of that first curve of track, I wasn’t sure if Mad Dog had accidentally set his phone to slow-motion speed.  My brain couldn’t comprehend what it was seeing and in combination with Full Speed’s pithy commentary, I lost my mind.

I could not stop laughing for the life of me. I tried, I really tried, but the more footage I watched, the more tickled I became.

Eventually, he was the only one in the frame shot and if we kidded ourselves a bit, it looked as if he was a lone runner cruising to first place.  This made us all laugh even more.

Mad Dog explained if I thought this seemed rather slow, imagine his surprise when at a previous meet he watched Full Speed crawl to an even slower pace in the 4 x 400.  How was it possible he had to run an entire lap less, but was almost doubly slow?  Turns out he was misinformed and thought he was really running the 4 x 800.

He was conserving energy for a nonexistent second lap!

P.S. – Full Speed shaved 20 seconds off his time at last night’s track meet.  While realistic in his capabilities, he is determined and improving. 

If he keeps this up track won’t be funny anymore.  

I’m game if you are, Full Speed.

Chicago Cubs, children, family, humor, motherhood

WFAM Wednesdays!!!

First, before you delve into the wondrous writing I have created below, I want to share my intention to write a post a week for Writes for All Mommies.  I’m a little scared in all honesty, because now that I’ve written this intention and you’ve read the words, I actually have to do it.  So, welcome to WFAM Wednesdays!  I’m grateful you are here.  You rock!

Let the posting commence:

There are many points of light on the horizon of raising children which flit across your awareness and then are gone forever.  The first smile, those first steps, learning how to read, ride a bike…etc., etc.  It all goes by too fast and makes my heart ache with nostalgia.  However, once you are a grown-up, those sweet mile-stoney moments are all but extinct.  Somehow my first mammogram didn’t seem quite so awesome as all the cool things little humans have to master as they journey towards adulthood.  Truth be told, I thought most of my notable moments were behind me.

But then it happened.  By some strange sequence of events and circumstances, something unexpected occurred.

I got carded!

Yes, that’s right.


A forty-three year old mom got carded at the grocery store!

I was so flummoxed when the cashier asked for my I.D., I started to act all weird and suspicious.  To be fair, I was in work-out gear (apparently working it!), had a baseball cap on (Go Cubs!) and the bespectacled cashier never really looked directly at my face.

But hey!  I’ll take it.

This felt so momentous because I am fairly certain this is the last time I will ever be carded in my lifetime.  How’s that for a milestone?  The first-last time you get carded.  It’s a thing now.  Well, a thing I made up but still.  It’s a thing.

Later, when I was cheerfully sharing my wonder over being carded with the boys, I was quickly brought back to reality.

Full Speed:  “So when someone cards you it means they think you aren’t twenty-one?!?  The cashier really thought that????”  (Poor guy looked so confused.)

T.Puzzle: “Bahahaha…..!”  (Basically he laughed to infinity as he rolled around in disbelief.  In fact, if you ran into him today, he’s probably still laughing.  So glad to be the light of humor in your life, Son.  I mean that.  Really.)

So, I was quickly put back in my place and humbled (horrified?).

Thankfully, this old girl loves her life and her disbelieving chuckle-y boys.

children, humor, motherhood

On Track for Stardom

“I was doing a lot of thinking last night, Full Speed, and I came to the conclusion if we need to sell our house to subsidize your Olympic shot-put aspirations, I’m willing to do it.”

To qualify in the shot-put at a middle school track meet you have to reach a minimum of 30 feet.

Full Speed’s record is 16.


I asked him point-blank, “Do they award points for style?”

Okay, so maybe not the shot-put.  How about the 4 x 800 he helped run?

Considering his team (which is categorized ‘B’ team for a reason) came in 12th out of 14, maybe this won’t be his event either.

However, they did lap a team.  Maybe there’s hope after all.

But wait, the team they lapped consisted of elementary school kids.

Looks like I just saved thousands of dollars in training fees.

A young Full Speed realizing traveling by foot may be his least productive option.
family, humor, kids, motherhood

The Yeti

Full Speed and I were returning from our nearby Chinese restaurant with takeout in tow.  We were having a serious discussion about appreciating diverse perspectives in life.  I wanted to reiterate to him the goal isn’t having everyone agree (impossible!), but rather respecting others’ viewpoints.  If we keep an open mind, we might learn something.

He agreed wholeheartedly.  He thought a world of sameness would be boring.

Then, he went on to talk about the merits of differences.  He said, “Take for example you and Dad.  If you both were the same, we’d never leave the house.”


Maybe it didn’t help this was the first time I had ever been to the aforementioned Chinese restaurant.  It had been open for months.  I relied on Mad Dog to get the takeout each Sunday evening as part of tradition.  You can pretty much guarantee I was waiting at home already in my pajamas.  The cashier and other workers were astonished at my presence.  Where was my husband?

It’s possible in my homebody glory, I may overdo it.  However, I step up when Mad Dog travels and I said as much to Full Speed.

“That’s true, Mom.  You at least have to go out and get groceries.”

I replied rather sheepishly, “Not really.  You know I’d just have them delivered!”

Then, it dawned on me.  I’m like the Yeti.

Mysterious and elusive.

Try and catch me.


The Yeti