humor, motherhood

When It Rains It Pours (Vomit?): Lucky Post #800!

Judy the American Airlines flight attendant is my new, very best friend.  No offense to my current stock of friends, but Judy is my everything.

She just is.

A close second is the person who invented Clorox wipes, but I digress.

The week leading up to when my serious girl crush developed had all sorts of mayhem crammed into it.  First and foremost, there is Little Guy.  His eye care has recently gone next level.  Rounds and rounds of drops/ointments, pain meds, surgery, office visits and wearing a cone are just some of the delights he is experiencing.  This also happened to be the week I had to take boys’ to their new eye doctor for the first time.  If you know any of their eye history, this is no small task AND we had an out-of-state wedding to prepare for and travel to.  Imagine trying to explain Little Guy’s thirteen sets of eye meds to a dog sitter (not including his as-needed pain meds):

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Just imagine.

Our dog sitter and her family are also my other new, very best friends.

Miraculously, Little Guy held steady while we were away and at today’s follow-up, dropped from thirteen rounds of meds to six.  SIX!  (insert happy dance here)   And, despite all the logistics of traveling, the wedding was beautiful and spending time with family meant a lot to all of us.  However, when it was time to fly home, I was feeling quite exhausted and understandably so.

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Since Mad Dog is an expert traveler, oftentimes he can upgrade me, sometimes more of us to first class.  It is usually the ‘first-class’ that is separated from coach by a tiny, half-attempt at a curtain and the main perk is getting served water first, but hey, the seats are bigger and I can’t complain.  But on our flight home after the wedding, I got upgraded to real first-class.

It was everything I dreamed of and more.

This is when I first met Judy.  She pampered me.  She gave me a warm, scented cloth for my hands, she constantly topped off my water and she did it all with genuine flair.  She even gave me chips and southwest dip!

Really, she had me at warm, scented hand cloth.

T.Puzzle and Full Speed got upgraded, too.  T.Puzzle sat next to me, Full Speed right in front of us, and poor Mad Dog got stuck in a middle seat back in coach.  While I did feel guilty about Mad Dog, my focus was quickly diverted by the swarm of snacks and amenities being showered upon me.

After a crazy week, ok, after a crazy year, I did my best to soak it all in.

About mid-way through the flight, T.Puzzle started to look not-so-good to me.  He was flushed and a bit squirmy.  My mother’s instinct went on high alert and I scanned him for symptoms.  He had eaten a big lunch and had been fine all day.  He said his stomach did not hurt but he had mucus in his throat.  It didn’t surprise me with all we had going on.  Since he said his stomach was fine, I chalked it up to fatigue and maybe coming down with a cold of some sort.

But, still, my internal alarm system kept thinking it could be more …

“Are you sure you don’t feel like you are going to throw up?”

“No,” T.Puzzle said.

I mean I can only ask the kid this question so many times.  Eventually, he got so tired, he laid his head down on my balled-up scarf and went to sleep.

Thirty minutes later he woke up vomiting like a poltergeist.

Who knew a small boy could create so much vomit?  It was like he was a prodigy of vomit production and since he caught us both by surprise, this cascade of vomit went EVERYWHERE.

This is the moment that solidified my BFF status with Judy.  Judy single-handedly got me and T.Puzzle through the rest of that flight.

Judy.

I love you.

Though we survived this flight which will forever be known as Vomit-Fest 2018, some of our carry-ons did not.  We had to toss a backpack and T.Puzzle’s shoes (they were a spare of Full Speed’s anyway).  The future of my suede jacket remains in the balance.  I don’t want to alarm you, but prepare yourself for the worst.

When we finally made it home, I Cloroxed everything I could within an inch of its life. I took a long, hot shower but still felt gross.

I may never feel whole again.

Life is funny like that.  It can hand you more vomit than you think you can manage but then the likes of someone like Judy will come to your rescue.

So no matter how dire your circumstances, hang in there.

The Judys of the world will find their way to you.

I strongly suggest not wearing suede until well after they arrive.

 

Here is the commendation I wrote to American Airlines to give my BFF the credit she so deserves:

 

Hello,

I am certain there are not enough superlatives to capture our flight attendant Judy’s level of service.

After an extremely stressful week in addition to traveling to Ohio for a wedding, my youngest son became ill on the flight home. He was asleep and caught us both off guard when he woke up vomiting.

It was horrible and messy as you might imagine, but Judy was with us every step of the way. She made do with the supplies on hand, kept us calm and gave both of us constant reassurance that all would be well. She told us it happens all the time and that a clean-up crew was on standby once we landed. She gave me gloves to help me clean the mess as best I could, helped me place newspapers over it and plastic bags to keep it contained and then she did all she could to comfort me and my son. She offered him water to swish out the sick and gave him a mint to suck on to help with the taste and settle his stomach. It was as if she was always one step ahead.

My son is doing much better today, but we both agree, we still feel a bit queasy over the extent of his vomiting yesterday.

Judy made something awful bearable. Her steady demeanor and non-judgmental attitude saved the day. Please extend to her our deepest gratitude.

My son would like to add in this: “Thank you for cleaning up all the puke I puked. It was really nice of you to do that even though it was gross and messy. I also really liked the candy you gave me to get the taste out of my mouth. You are a great flight attendant.”

Sincerely, WFAM and T.Puzzle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

dogs, motherhood

Writing Obstacles: The Struggle is Real

I have no plans to bore you with the details of why keeping current on this blog has not been easy.

Life happens.

What I do know is when I finally sit down to type, it helps if I can be left alone.

Emphasis on alone.

Miss Lady has other ideas:

My goal for the remainder of this month is my upcoming holiday wrap-up which also happens to be my 800th post!

WFAM looks pretty good for being nearly 800, don’t you think?

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Fingers-crossed.
dogs, motherhood

Thoughts on Life and Motherhood

These past two weeks have found me in a struggle to get my WFAM posts created and uploaded.  I do not like to give myself excuses as to why I don’t have the time to write.  I fear these excuses will allow me to push writing to the back-burner and I will yet again, sacrifice my needs for those of my loved ones.

However, when your very-senior-dog has eye surgery, it’s okay to write your post the day of if you even write it at all:

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Little Guy is doing well overall but very sad/mad about his plastic collar.

Since I’m not in the mood for a funny and lighthearted post after comforting Little Guy through the night, here are two somewhat serious thoughts that have been swimming in my head:

Nobody Has Motherhood Figured Out

I have spent time with kick-butt executive moms down to the always-at-home-always-on-call moms and every variation in between.  We all feel less-than about some aspect of life and motherhood, and nobody has it all figured out.  All we know is we love our kids, we are doing our best and it is better to focus on our little corner of the world and worry less about what anyone else is or is not doing.

Life Beyond Motherhood

In a People feature article, Michelle Obama was asked about her approaching ’empty nest’.  The interviewer seemed surprised she was not ‘weepy’ about the prospect.

“I don’t need my children to be happy.  I had them so they’d be happy.”

This quote has me more determined than ever to continue carving a path that is unique to me.

Writing is a big part of this path:

The Truce of Motherhood:  How My Son’s Tantrums Opened My Eyes and My Heart

Thank you for walking with me.  I’m excited to see where we can go.

Like I said before, nobody has life figured out.  We may not always see eye to eye or perceive the world, life or motherhood in the exact same way, but I believe as moms, we can all relate to this:

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Some Truths are universal.

 

humor, motherhood

Thankful: Why I Will Never be (C)lonely

The first time I held Full Speed, I had an out-of-body moment.  A sense of calm filled me and a quiet understanding of love filled my heart.  This fleeting moment of peace buoyed me through those first weeks of motherhood.

As family and friends paraded through our home excited to meet our firstborn, one theme remained constant, his eery physical similarity to Mad Dog.  In fact, my mother would sometimes feel uncomfortable holding him because she had an unsettling feeling that she was actually holding Mad Dog.  While she loved Mad Dog dearly as a son-in-law, she preferred an occasional polite hug to extended snuggling.  Frankly, I was so tired I probably wouldn’t have noticed either way.

With Full Speed’s paternity clearly locked down, as the years passed, I wondered if he would ever resemble me in any capacity.   Other than showing a penchant for writing, he almost is 100% Mad Dog.  The upside of this is, whenever Mad Dog travels, I have an outstanding stand-in to keep me company.  Lately as a bonus, he is even throwing in the exact behavior patterns of Mad Dog’s that sometimes drive me a little crazy.  For instance, he cannot find things that are in plain sight, runs into counters and cabinets oftentimes knocking himself soundly in the head and he insists I did not tell him something when I absolutely did(!).

Thanks to you Full Speed, I will never be (c)lonely.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

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Happy to look exactly like my dad.
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#twinning

 

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Just to clarify, Full Speed’s the one in glasses.

 

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Cloning is for real.
humor, motherhood

The World Needs Me

I have only met a handful of neighbors on my street.  When I walk my dogs, it is rare that I stop and chat with someone.

I admit, I’ve become complacent.

Over the weekend, dressed to the hilt in my pajamas, it was time to walk the dogs.  I had on no make-up but did take the time to match my checkered pants to my hat and jacket.  All Cubs-themed of course and super-chic.  I knew I was pushing what is socially acceptable when T.Puzzle commented on my attire.

“Your pants are super baggy,” he said.

This should have given me pause because he never notices these things.  But, it did not.  I simply zipped up my coat and headed out of my house with confidence.  I was certain my streak of not speaking to another person would remain alive.

I have never seen so many people in my life!

Of course, all of them wanted to talk to me or pet the dogs.  And, I had to stand there like a normal person and own-up to my ridiculous outfit choice.

So, my advice to you is this; if you want to meet new people, proudly wear your pjs outdoors in the middle of the day.

Your neighbors will pour out their homes anxious to meet you and/or evaluate your mental status.

Long live pjs!

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This is similarly awesome to the exact outfit I was wearing.   I know what you are thinking, stop writing about motherhood and start writing a fashion blog.  The world needs me.