children, mommyhood

Kung Fu Sleeping

Mad Dog and I saw ‘The A-Team’ on a movie date night this week. It was enjoyable. I noticed a CIA character wore body armor to protect himself from being shot. I think I need to translate this armor into something parents can wear when they are forced to bring their children into bed with them.

Mad Dog has been traveling this week and one night even before I headed upstairs for bed, little T.Puzzle kept crying out and fussing. I managed to settle him back down with soothing words and a drink of water, but decided if he did it again, I’d just bring him to bed with me. He was snotty, coughing and miserable and I figured since Mad Dog was gone, why not?

Take that, Mommy!

Naturally, he fussed again and I scooped him up and brought him to my bed. Throughout the night he did unexpected kung fu kicks to my stomach and chest with intermittent karate chops to my head. Keep in mind these were completely unintentional. He was dead asleep during these ‘attacks’. There were times I feared for my safety and was unable to fall back asleep.

That’s why I need to invent pajamas that have some sort of barrier to physical blows. My sewing skills are extraordinary. Okay, they are extraordinarily bad so it’s never gonna happen. All I can do is curl up in a tight ball to protect my internal organs and hope for the best.

Of course, little T.Puzzle slept like a baby and woke up bright-eyed and bushy tailed. I woke up feeling (and looking) like an eighty year old man.

Wish me luck for the remainder of Mad Dog’s time away. I obviously am going to need it.

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