If you are out their struggling to make sense of your child’s behavior, you are not alone. If you were to tell me how hard it has been for you to get your child to be potty-trained, eat vegetables, ride a bike, etc., I would empathize. I wouldn’t be the type to tell you how easy it was for me to teach those skills to my kids and tell you the miraculous way in which I did so in under five minutes.
I’m not that Mom.
I’m the Mom that would listen. I’m the Mom that wouldn’t judge you because I’ve been there. In fact, I’m still there. All you would need to see is me in the pool ‘teaching’ and ‘encouraging’ Full Speed to expand his swimming skills. It would take you under a minute to see his stubborn face emerge, frustration creep over my face and understand the only thing learned in the pool that day is that I’m a terrible swim instructor.
I get it.
I get that you’ve tried every angle, every bribe you possibly can to get your child to comply with the life skill you are attempting to teach. I get that you stress about it late at night and wonder what other Moms must think of you. I know I especially experienced a lot of angst over potty training my boys. All the ‘helpful’ suggestions from friends who had easily potty-trained their kids failed miserably for me. Eventually I learned it is less about the methods and more about the DNA of your kid. Even if you are equipped with top-notch advice and researched hours of the best solutions to your issue, if your kid is hard-core stubborn, most things are not going to work.
I am also the Mom that has faith in you. All I can offer you is a spin on the current parenting challenge you are facing. Focus less on what they are not doing and think about it more in terms of why they aren’t doing it. It is all a matter of power and control. So, maybe your kid isn’t the first one to ride a bike without training wheels, in the long run, when they learn won’t matter. What you will come to appreciate (hopefully!) is that fire inside them that fights tooth and nail against your wishes will be one of their greatest assets as they move forward in the world. I’d put money on them that they will be huge successes in anything they choose to be or do in this world.
I’m here to tell you that your kid, in all their feisty glory, is well on their way to being a strong, independent, amazing person. A chip off the old block indeed, Mom.
Writes for all Mommies 