family, motherhood

WFAM: Holiday Edition 2019

cropped-img_4251.jpg

2019 will forever be known as the year Mad Dog and I became the parents of teenagers!

How did we go from this:

 

Image 12-18-19 at 11.36 AM
December 2018

To this:

IMG_8107
November 2019

Somehow our boys became young men in less than a year’s time!  No one tells you that when you become a parent.  That in an instant your children vanish and are replaced by grown-up versions of themselves.  Naively, I thought it would be more gradual.  How do I feel about this?  If I am to take a cue from T.Puzzle and his extreme articulation abilities which are common to thirteen year old boys around the world I’d say this:

“I dunno.”

or

“I don’t care.” (my personal favorite)

In general, despite some family growing pains due to the realm of the teenager, both boys are successfully finding their way in the world.  Academic success is part of that, and even this isn’t always smooth (A Humble Hero’s Journey), but it’s the intangibles that make them so awesome.  Like Mad Dog, our boys get better with age.

2019 was the year of dreams realized.  First and foremost, Mad Dog and I ventured to Africa (My Heart Belongs to Africa).  The magic of the African bushveld and all our adventures there have pushed me to keep writing.  I never know where it might lead, but I am learning to love the process and am grateful for any chance I am afforded to be published.

Fulfilling A Life Long Dream of Coming Face-to-Face with a Lion

Full Speed continues his basketball coaching journey by managing his high school’s freshman teams.  He takes great pride in this role making sure to dress the part on game days.  The freshman coach has expressed his appreciation for Full Speed’s strategical support and his positive leadership contributions. Something tells me this is only the beginning in what could be a life-long commitment to coaching for Full Speed.  He truly is in his element out on that court and we could not be more proud of him.

If coaching is Full Speed’s element, giving is mine. Thankfully, I married someone who supports this life vision.  Mad Dog and I were able to start our DeVaul Family Great Day Foundation this year.  Each month we are able to give to the causes we care about.  I am excited to see how it grows and where it goes.

And while some dreams were realized, 2019 was not without challenges.  Mad Dog and I continue to navigate the strain of ‘third-party’ influences on our marriage.  This has shown up in the fluffiest of forms:

Image 12-18-19 at 11.32 AM

The only way I make peace with Nora ‘stealing’ my man’s attention, is that she allows me to dress her up like a Disney Princess:

Image 12-18-19 at 11.32 AM
Girl, all is forgiven!

As I do my best to navigate ‘sharing’ Mad Dog, I am reminded that I, too, apparently have some boundary issues when it comes to Max.  When he came into our house over six years ago at the age of ten, I never thought he would live to see so many holiday seasons with us.  He is a reminder of all that is good in the world.  He may be cranky on occasion but he is a living, breathing form of what unconditional love looks like.

Image 12-18-19 at 11.32 AM
When you’re sixteen going on seventeen…

Even though we are blessed with the most incredible boys and perfect dogs, we are happy to announce a new addition to our family!

Please welcome Roho the baby elephant! (yeah, I kind of freaked out my sister, too. All she heard was ‘baby’ and thought I had lost my mind)

Image 12-18-19 at 12.31 PM

We are fostering Roho for the next several years in the hopes he will learn the needed skills to successfully return to the wild after losing his mom to poachers.  I will be getting my first pictures and official updates of his progress as Christmas arrives.  He, by far, is my most well-behaved child.

Welcome to the family, Roho!

While we are so grateful to all the wonder 2019 supplied us, we are even more excited for what the future will bring.  Yes, some of it may be unexpected and yes, it may not always look the way we imagined, but we have to be willing to let go of the life we wanted to live the life we are given.  In my experience, the life we are given always far exceeds anything we believe we could want.

Happy Holidays to All. 

Thank you for reading and may 2020 bring all your dreams alive!

Will the real Gardner Minshew please stand up?

LOVE

motherhood

My Heart Belongs to Africa

Magic is real.

I lived it up close.

Close enough I could feel the air shimmer over my skin as a lion sauntered past me.  Less than a foot away I dug deep for courage as I sat exposed in an open-air Land Rover.  His paws silent as marshmallow pillows, his movements sleek as a crocodile slicing through a murky riverbed.

Even in the stillness this king exuded power.

0D1A4630 medium

Magic.

All of it magic.

This is how I know fear does not always tell the truth.  If I had listened to fear I would have stayed home in my Cubs pajamas.

I would have missed an enraged elephant tossing sand at me as we interrupted his hunt for female companionship.

0D1A4753

I would have missed seeing so many leopards that I lost count. Mothers and babies, lone leopard warriors stalking the land for dinner, a female leopard mating with a father and son to ensure protection of her future progeny, leopards in trees and on termite mounds.

An abundance of spots and I loved every, single one of them.

0D1A4374 medium0D1A4408 medium0D1A4562 medium

I would have missed meeting my idol and mentor, Martha Beck.

IMG_7142

Martha is a Light Writer and life coach.  Meeting her meant everything to me.  Her writing and wisdom carried me through a time in my life when I needed it most.  Getting to tell her that in person was, you guessed it, magic.

Martha Beck’s Safari – Finding Your Purpose

Martha is the reason I cast my fear aside  brought my fear with me, let it have its say and still went to South Africa anyway.

I did it for her and for Mad Dog.  His lifelong dream consisted of coming face to face with a lion while on safari.  I flew nearly 50 hours, endured 17 hours of layovers in Qatar, willingly rose daily at dawn and perched myself without complaint in a vehicle minus any enclosures to face the fiercest animals in all the land.

I would do it all again if only to see Mad Dog’s face each and every time we encountered lions.

Priceless.

0D1A42330D1A42600D1A46930D1A4348 medium

I hold gratitude for everyone who made it possible for Mad Dog to realize this dream.  From our extraordinary ranger and tracker, to my in-laws who took care of the boys and dogs while we traipsed across the savanna.

Thank you.

IMG_6991
Wine tastes better with zebras nearby and an African sunset to feast our eyes upon.
IMG_6981
Our awesome ranger/driver, Bruce, (next to Mad Dog) and our gifted tracker, Rob (next to me).

Every day dazzled us with mystery and wonder.

0D1A4724 small (1)
My favorite African bird, the Lilac-Breasted Roller, made sure to pose for this most treasured photo.

As we watched animals roaming free and living immersed in the present moment, our hearts cracked open a bit wider and we grew in wisdom and love.

I never knew a place could change me forever.

But, then again, I had never been to Africa.

Africa-Magic-Quote

 

 

motherhood

Life Instructions

The evening was not starting out well.

All I wanted was to walk to dinner in peace.  My boys weren’t having it.  T.Puzzle’s needling of Full Speed spiked to a dangerous level.  So did my exasperation.

I took note that my expectations for the evening were not matching the reality of it.  Quiet strolls, tranquil camaraderie and basic normalcy are elusive on most days of motherhood.

When we arrived at our destination, it took me a few moments to process through my frustration.  I ended up giving one of my aren’t-we-fortunate-we-can-be-together-and-enjoy-awesome-dinners-out speeches.

Once I said my piece, the edges of discord smoothed away.  We shifted back to our default which happens to be a family that is loved.

I took a moment to drink it all in.  The breeze that brushed through our faces held the perfect depth of warmth.  The trees rustled nearby ushering us to dusk.

Dreams may lack perfection, but I am doing my best to recognize them in all their shapes and forms.

IMG_6546-1024x873

motherhood

It’s Been a Really Moving (to Texas) Year: Highlights of 2018

The first part of the year found T.Puzzle winning his school’s spelling bee.  As a fifth grader he went on to place ninth out of thirty-six at the county level with mostly 7th and 8th grade competitors.

IMG_4696

T.Puzzle has always been a good student and leader, but in many ways, he is more content configuring Legos or playing video games.  However, with our move to Texas, he has come into his own.  With his academic load increasing in amount and rigor, he is exceeding all our expectations.  Mad Dog and I have been amazed at his growth and maturity.   But do not worry, his unique brand of humor remains fully intact:

No Lie

Isn’t That Great?

Full Speed’s first year participating in track had all sorts of life lessons woven into it.  It provided great fodder for WFAM, but truly, it helped him learn about honoring commitments and to not take life too seriously:

On Track for Stardom

Over the summer he attended a three-week high school honors class at Northwestern University.  He received high marks and a glowing summary report from his instructor.  It was a growth opportunity not only for him, but for me, too.  Letting go of your children in any capacity is never easy:

IMG_5567

Three Weeks

Full Speed’s transition into his new school has not been without challenges.  But really, even in the best of circumstances, is the life of a middle schooler a breeze?  It took a bit, but he is finding his way.  It helps he is now a team basketball manager.  At a recent tournament, he was gifted the championship trophy by his team and his coach:

 

Mad Dog continues to demonstrate exceptional leadership within his new role at work.  It may have taken a while for his title to reflect the scope of his responsibilities, but this never hindered his passion and commitment for lifting others up to their highest potential while making a positive impact across the globe.  Despite all this awesomeness, on occasion, he still needs to be supervised:

When Left to Their Own Devices…

I would happily follow Mad Dog anywhere.  Even though I mean this, moving to a new city and state has been quite the shake-up for me internally.  Now that I feel like my boys are in a good place, I think I can finally exhale.  My only goal for the new year is to make sure I appreciate the blessings I already have.  If I stop and soak in the prayers already answered, I could not ask for one thing more.

Not one thing.

IMG_5895

IMG_6098

 

May your 2019 be filled with all the love and adventure you seek and may your dreams, if not already here, find their way to you as quickly as possible.

Happy Holidays, Y’all!

humor, motherhood

Thankful: Why I Will Never be (C)lonely

The first time I held Full Speed, I had an out-of-body moment.  A sense of calm filled me and a quiet understanding of love filled my heart.  This fleeting moment of peace buoyed me through those first weeks of motherhood.

As family and friends paraded through our home excited to meet our firstborn, one theme remained constant, his eery physical similarity to Mad Dog.  In fact, my mother would sometimes feel uncomfortable holding him because she had an unsettling feeling that she was actually holding Mad Dog.  While she loved Mad Dog dearly as a son-in-law, she preferred an occasional polite hug to extended snuggling.  Frankly, I was so tired I probably wouldn’t have noticed either way.

With Full Speed’s paternity clearly locked down, as the years passed, I wondered if he would ever resemble me in any capacity.   Other than showing a penchant for writing, he almost is 100% Mad Dog.  The upside of this is, whenever Mad Dog travels, I have an outstanding stand-in to keep me company.  Lately as a bonus, he is even throwing in the exact behavior patterns of Mad Dog’s that sometimes drive me a little crazy.  For instance, he cannot find things that are in plain sight, runs into counters and cabinets oftentimes knocking himself soundly in the head and he insists I did not tell him something when I absolutely did(!).

Thanks to you Full Speed, I will never be (c)lonely.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Image-1
Happy to look exactly like my dad.
Image-1
#twinning

 

Image-1
Just to clarify, Full Speed’s the one in glasses.

 

Image-1
Cloning is for real.