Tag: self-compassion

motherhood

#857 (I’m So Glad)

WFAM

“I am writing for all the mommies out there who are feeling a little lost today, okay a lot lost today…

Let’s not stop the dreaming.

If we can connect to the part of ourselves that is the most vibrant and has the most light to shine, not only will we reap the rewards, our children will catch some of that light and shine on.

Don’t give up who you were before children. Make the most of who you are with children. Find some balance, find some sanity and ask for help.”

The first ever WFAM post 8/12/2009

This is how it all started 856 posts ago. I can’t even believe it. My boys were three and five when this all began. Now, they are fourteen and sixteen.

I have felt this farewell building. My creativity is changing directions. My role as a parent has shifted.

I started this blog to cope. Motherhood and its demands had me overwhelmed and drowning.

This is no longer the case.

I’ve learned to surf. We all have. We ride the currents of change together yet more separate than before.

We are no longer in the same boat. We are in the same fleet, but each boy has begun to chart their own course. Sure, I’m still on hand with sunscreen and life-jackets, but they alone are in charge of their navigation.

They are good, kind, decent humans. I trust them to know where to go from here.

Keaton, you have taught me to always speak the truth, to show up, and keep running even when you lose a shoe in the mud.

J.R., you have taught me being yourself matters the most, never stop learning, and once you find your purpose, follow it with your whole heart.

John, you have shown me love, the greatest kind, the unconditional kind. The kind you find once in a lifetime. Is it no wonder our boys are so awesome given it’s embedded in their DNA.

Writes for all Mommies has been a love letter not only to my family, but to all of you. I hope to continue this connection as I get set to launch my new website and blog.

New logo for dianadevaul.com

At this time, I feel called to explore the wider world not only as a mother, but as a human searching for solace in the ever-shifting landscape of life. My vision is to create a space made for stillness. A place to pause and reflect. Where inner wisdom is cultivated and peace flows. My hope is this peace is carried outward and as a small but mighty collective, we may begin to transform our world by first transforming ourselves.

dianadevaul.com

Please stay tuned, something new and exciting will be coming your way.

May this ending be the beginning of something true and beautiful.

“I’m so glad we had this time together

Just to have a laugh or sing a song

Seems we just get started

and before you know it

Comes the time we have to say

So long

Goodnight!”

(Ear pull)

-From the Carol Burnett Show

dogs, motherhood

Fur-Ever Changed by Love

WFAM

There are stories you never want to write. The ones that become irrevocably true once the ink leaves your pen.

This is one of those stories.

July 9, 2003 – June 4, 2021 (just shy of 18 years old)

Max lived a good life. He walked every day until he couldn’t.

That’s how he told me it was time for him to go.

When Max came into my life I did not understand the magic he would sprinkle over every part of my existence. His devotion to me was unmatched. In his younger years, though already ten when he became our family member, he would wait at the base of the stairs as I ran up and down completing the endless daily tasks of motherhood. Once he felt certain of my location and pause in movement, with Herculean effort he’d heave his stout little body up the stairs to find me and keep watch. I don’t know what exactly he was watching for but it seemed important.

As the center of his universe I did not take this lightly. I gave him as much as he gave me. Until he couldn’t give anymore, and he was tired, and his old body said enough is enough.

From the outside, the story of Max and me seems simple.

Dog meets girl.

Dog devotes life to girl.

Best friends for life.

From the inside the story reaches deeper. Max came into my world with precise timing. I was dealing with the crushing loss of my mom, raising two rambunctious boys, and supporting Mad Dog’s corporate aspirations. I was barely holding myself together and in swooped Max. He did not care how my anxiety sometimes froze me in place. He didn’t mind how I looked, if I showered, and if my writing got published. He didn’t care if my boys were on the honor roll, if I took awesome vacations, or if my house was organized. He taught me that I am enough as is. On the days I didn’t believe him, it did not phase him.

He loved me anyway.

The love he gave me was so perfect and true it has me questioning everything. We are taught by the world we must earn love through striving, pushing ourselves, winning at everything, and looking a certain, standardized way. Even if we somehow achieve this ephemeral perfection, its temporary nature has us immediately turning our attention to the next outside-of-ourselves goal.

I don’t want to live like that. I want to choose goals that speak to my heart. The kind that inspire me and fulfill me as I move through them. I want to cultivate a fluid state of being and allow the process of becoming to light the way. I want passion and purpose to rise up from within and carry me through all the twists and turns of life.

When you love someone, you dress up like an Ewok even though it makes you really, really angry.

Losing Max is a twist I knew was coming, but I wasn’t ready. We are never ready to lose something we love. It rips us apart at the seams and feels overwhelming and irreparable. And yet, underneath the surface of this gaping Ewok-shaped hole, the true-ness within me holds me steady.This is the part of me that Max loved the most.

This is where I will find my joy again.

Above all else, I want to make Max proud.

The best and only way to do this is remember each and every day no matter what, I already have.

motherhood

Little Miracles (2020 Year in Review)

WFAM

As the year draws to its conclusion, this is the time to reflect on the adventures we have embodied and to highlight the triumphs and glory that made our hearts sing. For our family, we had these moments. Mad Dog’s new job, moving to the beach, Full Speed’s coaching dreams pursued, T. Puzzle’s spelling bee victory, but they somehow pale in comparison to the one simple fact, …

we survived.

So did you.

If no one has told you lately, let me remind you what a marvel you are. You didn’t give up, even on the darkest mornings and the bleakest days. You kept rising to the challenges that erupted like land mines across all your expectations.

I am dedicating this post to you.

What an honor you continue to be a part of our family’s journey. Thank you for all the ways big and small you have shown up for us, for your loved ones and I pray above all else, for yourself.

Now that we have the scars of survival etched in our hearts, this is our roadmap to the turnaround. This is where the lessons learned, the gratitude gleaned, and the hope harvested move us beyond our collective healing.

This is where our survival becomes a revival.

We can’t prevent disaster but now we know whatever happens, we will get through it. 2020 tried everything in its power to stop us. It knocked us down more times than it lifted us, but we kept righting ourselves back to the life in front of us. To all those tiny, precious details we never had time to notice, until 2020 halted our motion and busyness and these little miracles were all we could see.

What beauty to know our strength is infinite and that together or apart, we are one.

Thank you for reading. May the year ahead provide us with all that is needed to grow our courage, cherish what matters, and cultivate love for ourselves and for one another.

Welcome to Siesta D!

family, gratitude, humor, motherhood

Life Lessons (Global Pandemic Edition)

WFAM
  1. We are more adaptable than we realize. We have settled into new routines and found sparks of hope in unexpected places. T.Puzzle’s new mantra is “less school, more video games!”  Silver linings are there for the taking.
  2. Everyone has unique strengths during times of stress. While my strength lies in cultivating family bonds, I may also freak out a little more than the rest of my clan. Thankfully, I am married to a man who never freaks out.  It actually kind of freaks me out that he is so calm ALL THE TIME. At this point, I am not going to change who I am, but I am forever grateful I feel safe enough to fully be myself and know without doubt, I am loved just as I am.
  3. When this whole pandemic began to impact our lives, to help preserve my sanity, I took a major pause from social media. I simply cannot hold that many stories in my head and function well. It may appear that I am less connected to what matters, but I have found the opposite to be true. I am remembering the beauty of my own backyard.
  4. My imagination runs wild so I have to be mindful of the T.V. shows I watch. Otherwise my sleep will be disrupted and general mind mayhem will ensue. This leaves me with limited options. I have been reduced to watching lots of reality T.V.  This is fine in small doses, but recently I have noticed my propensity to want to walk around in thong bikinis, toss martinis about and speak incoherently in a British accent. Weirdly, Mad Dog has little to no objections concerning my altered behaviors. I am in no danger of being voted off the island.

Thanks for reading and be kind to yourself.

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